No, that was selfish and unfair. He moved back after a breakup and drama of his own. My parents were the closest thing he had to family sincehis mom moved away after his dad died. After years apart, I needed Jake in my life. I wasn’t ready to risk that for a what if.
Plus, it was possible I latched on to him because he was the first person who made me feel safe. He deserved better.
But he was everything I ever wanted in a partner, and it was so easy to imagine Jake as a dad.
“Stop it,” I ordered myself. “You’re a terrible friend by taking advantage of his willingness to help you. Don’t make things weird, too. And don’t hit on your oldest friend simply because you’re curious about what all that muscle feels like.”
It was better to keep things the way they were. I’d never forgive myself if I made things awkward because I was afraid to be alone at thirty-three.
If only I didn’t know how he looked without his shirt or how he smelled fresh from the shower last night.
Twenty minutes before work, and my car wouldn’t start. Damn it. I’d left the interior light on, and the battery was dead. As I hooked it up to the battery charger, Jake parked in his driveway.
“What’s the trouble?”
Embarrassed, I explained.
“If you’re ready to go,” he said, “I’ll give you a ride to the Tavern.”
“That would be great. I don’t mind walking, but I’ll be late.”
We chatted about his day on the way, and things were back to normal. He pulled into the parking lot to drop me off. With a smile and a wave, Ithanked him and headed into the tavern. Neil was getting out of his car, and I headed for him.
“Was that delicious snack Jake?” he hissed. “I thought you were with Boring Beau?”
I flushed.
“He’s my oldest friend.”
“No one’s friends with a man who looks like that, honey. Spill. Are you cheating on Beau with that tall drink of water?”
“Of course not!” I insisted “My car wouldn’t start, and he offered me a ride.”
“You’re doing it wrong, baby. That’s not the kind of ride you should be taking with him. Cishet mating habits are so confusing.”
“There’s no mating. We’re friends. I’ve known him since I was eight.”
“He didn’t look like that at eight,” Neil muttered. Then he draped an arm over my shoulder. “But if you’re not interested, send him my way. I can show him a new version of hide and seek.”
“You’re a menace,” I laughed. “He’s recovering from a bad breakup, but I don’t think you’d have much chance anyway. He’s into women.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve tempted a sweet young thing to the dark side,” Neil said with a wicked grin.
My laughter grew.
“You’re probably the first person who’s ever called him a sweet young thing. He must be at least a foot taller than me.”
“To be fair, you’re a midget. My niece is taller than you, and she’s eleven.”
“I’m not a midget; I’m horizontally challenged.”
“Uh huh, sure. But now that you mention it, it’s probably a good thing you and gorgeous are friends. You don’t go together at all.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I demanded.
“Ah, ha! I knew it! You do want him.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I glanced around to ensure no one else heard.
