“Oh, Connor.She sounds so independent.”
Wolfe shook his head, continuing to stare at their hands, not able to look into BB’s eyes.“She knew I had some gems in my backpack on the shore.She must’ve wanted a snack because, for some reason, she ditched her life jacket to try and swim across the channel back to the area where we all tossed our gear before getting in the water.The problem was I didn’t even know she’d left the barge; I was so busy splashing around with my friends.”
“Again, she sounds so determined.”
“I like how you still talk about her like she’s here.Like she’s present.”
Wolfe took a chance and looked into BB’s comforting gaze.He didn’t curl up and cry.He had that going for him.
“The veil between worlds is thin.She’s still here, trust me,” a soft smile touched her face and she held his hands in a firm grip.“So, what happened?”
Wolfe once again cleared his throat, feeling like a truck was parked in his esophagus.“Like I said, I was messing around with my friends when I heard her scream my name.I saw her about twenty yards away just in time to see her slip underneath the water.I swam as fast as I could to the area where I thought she dropped beneath the water.I dove and dove and dove, but couldn’t find her.I yelled for my friends to get help and kept diving.”
“I can’t imagine how terrified you must have been.”
“Helpless.I was helpless and couldn’t find her, no matter what I did,” Wolfe’s shame consumed him.“By the time the emergency personnel arrived, it took another fifty minutes to find her.”
“Your parents—”
“—blamed me.And rightfully so.”
“You were twelve, Connor.”
“Doesn’t matter,” despair and conviction in his voice.“My parents trusted me and I epically failed by killing my sister.”
Aspen gasped at his confession.“Youdid notkill your sister, Connor.It was an accident.An accident.”
“She was my responsibility, BB.Period.”
“It sounds like your sweet sister’s mind was all her own, and I’m certain she would have found a way to your backpack full of gems even if you tethered her.”
“Which leads to my other failure of just keeping her on the shore to begin with and not give in to her pleading to bring her out in the water with me.”
“An accident, Connor.It.Was.An.Accident.”
Wolfe considered her words for a minute, but then shook his head in a reminder to himself how he failed so many people that day and beyond.
“Things were never the same from that moment.My dad started his deep dive into booze, drinking himself into oblivion every night.My mom...my mom died of a broken heart within the year of my sister’s death.”
“You mean a heart attack, right?”
“No, I mean a broken heart.Her death certificate said heart failure, but her demise rests solely on my shoulders,” Wolfe said flatly.“Then things got even worse with my dad.The man who taught me every construction skill I possess disowned me.We lived in the same house, but I was on my own.”
“Poor sweet, boy.”
Wolfe chuckled at that.“I was never sweet, BB, and the boy I was disappeared the day my sister died.”
“So, hockey?”
“It was my release, and I came across it by sheer accident.By the time I was eighteen, I was playing the AHL and called up to the NHL at twenty.End of story.In all the years that followed, the conversations have been brief with my dad and filled with tremendous hate.Honestly, I don’t know why I try.Glutton for punishment, or my penance to allay my guilt.I don’t know.”
“Your dad?You talked to him the night we went to dinner at the food truck?”
“Yeah, that’s the anniversary of my...of my sister’s death.I thought I could call and ask about your air conditioner as a way to, I don’t know, talk with him.Have a connection.But it didn’t work out.Not to be a pussy, but it never works out.Ever.”
Aspen let go of Wolfe’s hand and crawled into his lap, straddling his legs and wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Because he’s your father.No matter what’s happened, you are both connected to your sister and to your mom.”
