Ahh Saxon, I knew I could rely on you to put it into perspective. Rick shrugged, he wasn’t going to admit that it hurt. He had been wiped out of the family as if he never existed. If it wasn’t for persistent reporters over the years, his father would have succeeded in removing him from the family tree. It shouldn’t bother him after all these years since he’d been caught kissing the President’s son on the White House Lawn at a party. But it did.Get it together, man.“Who?”
“‘Ndrangheta…”
“No,” Rick slashed his hand through the air, then closed his hands into fists. He would get his emotions under control. He was better than this riotous mass of confusion and anger that swirled in his belly. “Sorry, Max, not the mafia, who were the ‘Ndrangheta planning on selling the drones to?”
“The Taliban.”
Ah Christ, his father had better not be getting involved with the terrorists Rick had spent most of his life fighting. Even that asshole couldn’t be so stupid as to make a career-killing move like that. Could he? “Fuck.”
“Do we know why?” one of the men at the table asked.
“Y’all are jumping ahead.” Noble pulled the debriefing back to where he wanted it. “This right now is about what happened, what we did, and what we’d do differently next time.”
“I know how a debrie…!”
“Shh.” Saxon cut him off, “Give us a sec boss, k?”
Noble squeezed his eyes shut, his lips moving as if he was counting. If so, he was probably looking for some restraint or something similar. “Yup.”
“Come with me.”
“Why?” Ugh, what the fuck was going on now? He wanted to know why his father was being so stupid. If he wanted him dead, hire a damn hitman. Cooperating with terrorists was just plain stupid.
“Because I asked it.” Saxon got to his feet and walked toward the door, clearly expecting Rick to follow.
He glanced at Noble and blew out a breath when the man jerked his chin toward the door, telling him to get his ass out there without saying the words. “Fine.” Rick was going to kick Saxon. Seriously. He wanted answers, not to have a fucking pep talk. But there was no way out of it without looking like a sulky kid. He did the only thing he could do, pushed back his chair, got to his feet, and followed Saxon out of the room.
“Ooh… he said,fine, I wonder how much trouble Sax is in?”
“Zenko…”
Saxon pulling the door shut behind them cut off whatever Noble Bauer had been about to say to his second in command.
“My boss is about five seconds away from kicking your ass.”
“Shit.”
“Yup.” Saxon crowded Rick against the wall in an echo of what had happened at his house earlier. “You need to focus.”
“My brain is scrambling.”Shut up! Why did you say that?
“I get it.” Saxon’s fingers moved, opening and closing into fists as if they wanted to reach out and do something. But he couldn’t think about that right now. “I’m pretty sure most of the men in there get it too.”
Rick sucked in a breath, taking the air deep into his lungs. Trying to do it for a count of four and then holding it for a count of four. He turned away from Saxon, it felt more vulnerable than he wanted to be, to have him watching as he tried to get himself to a space where he could shove the lingering hurt aside. Breathe out for four and wait for four. He did it once, twice, and a third time.
“What happened in the past is always gonna be there.” Saxon’s voice was right next to his ear. “Don’t let them win.”
The last thing he wanted was to let his family win. But the hurt they had caused the kid he was fifteen years ago, he’d never dealt with that; he’d just shoved the pain in a box in his head and ignored it. “Trying.”
“Know it.” Saxon wrapped his arms around Rick’s chest from behind.
Rick stiffened, what the fuck was he doing? They were at work. If someone walked out of that room… there would be questions. Was Saxon ready for those?
“Take the damn hug,” Saxon whispered in his ear, “I don’t give them very often.”
“A hug?”
“Yup.”
