And she had witnessed it all. He had definitely been screaming in his dream, but had that been out loud as well?
His wrist burned and he rubbed it with his opposite hand. He tried to tell himself he wasn’t tied to a sinking mast and that everything was fine, but his body refused to believe him.
Maybe if he slowed his breathing, his heart would finally slow as well.
But the slower he breathed, the more lightheaded he felt.
He would rather stay up for the rest of the night than experience the dream again.
For some reason, she was still sitting up as well and he could see her eyes darting toward him from the side.
He dropped his shoulders. His cream undershirt was soaked through, leaving his back exposed to the cold. He didn’t want to grab his gray doublet from the pack, though. He was tired of being on duty. Grabbing his blanket instead, he wrapped it around himself, protecting his back from the cold as the new flames of the fire warmed him from the front.
“Azel,” he said, hoping the girl across the fire would leave him in peace. “Go to sleep.”
She shook her head and shrugged.
Erich held his hands out to the fire. Rather than annoy him, her wakeful presence was surprisingly welcome. Perhaps if they found something to talk about, he could distract himself.
“Do you ever have nightmares?” If he wanted her to stay awake, he couldn’t make her angry.
She raised her eyebrows, then dropped her eyes to the fire and nodded her head.
“What are they about?”
She stared at the fire, her eyes going to a faraway place.
Erich realized too late that she had no way to answer his question. He would have to design his questions better. “Are they always about the same thing?”
Instead of answering, she looked up and pointed at him, throwing his question back over the fire.
It was Erich’s turn to look away. The whole point of this was not to revisit his nightmares, but then, he had been the one to start this conversation. “I don’t believe in nightmares.”
Azel didn’t respond.
“Not that I don’t believe they exist,” Erich continued, having nothing else to say. “I just don’t believe in them. I don’t believe in being scared of things. If you spend your whole life in fear, you are boxing yourself in.” Erich felt himself warming up. This was a conversation Aden would have loved.
Aden.
He hoped his brother had not succumbed to the curse.
“Take my father, for example. He’s spent his whole life preparing his kingdom for an attack. He’s always lived on the defensive, but what if he’d had a chance to focus his energy on increasing methods of farming so the outer holds could acquire more wealth. Or Ian, my oldest brother. He’s so afraid of breaking the rules because he’s going to be the future king someday, that he’s never truly relaxed and won’t let himself enjoy things with Onric and me. So, no, I’ve never had nightmares before. And these past few weeks have been pretty terrible. But I’m really okay with it, because I’m not going to let a few hours of fear in the middle of the night hold me back. All that to say, I don’t believe in nightmares. I’m not like my father or Ian, and I won’t make all my decisions based on fear.” Erich felt great about that revelation. He’d made up half of it as he went, but it was all true. Aden would indeed have been proud. He could talk about these things for hours on end. Feeling very proud of himself, Eric looked up at the girl across the fire.
She didn’t look impressed at all.
Eric shrank back.
Her eyes were wide and staring at him with a complicated mix of disbelief and concern. Her mouth hung open and she scrunched her nose as her eyebrows drew together.
She looked away, rubbing her chest right below the gem on her throat. Her mouth twisted into a confused smile and she slowly shook her head.
Finally, she turned back to face him, her face confident and assured. She pointed at him and mouthed the word, “No.”
No? Everything he’d said was true. What did she know about him to deny that?
Using her face and hands, she made a few quick gestures Erich instantly understood. “I’m afraid of you?”
She nodded decisively.
