Her heart responded against her will, expanding and releasing the pain it strained against. She wanted to believe his words, which were so kind they brought tears to her eyes. If she had not previously recognized that he would resort to using kind words in order to change her mind, she would surely have fallen for his deceit. “Thank you for your apology. I appreciate your concern.” She added a small smile to her words so they would come across as genuine, but she made no move to rescind her earlier statement.
He paused again, but she refused to move first, wanting to wait until he left the room.
“I do have one more thing to say,” he finally continued, still facing her, “and I would not be true to myself or to you if I remained silent.”
She clenched her jaw as she bit her lip. This did not sound like it was going to be something she wanted to hear. She crossed her arms.
“From the moment I met you, I have been entranced by your smile.” He stepped forward, his eyes on the ground below him. “I realized that first stormy night in the kitchen, when you had no idea who I was and you spoke to me like you would to an equal... I realized that your smile was rare and not freely indulged. That night, you held it back from me and you held it back from yourself. When I found you again just hours later at my doorstep, I immediately wanted to find a way to always keep a smile on your face.”
He was standing on the other side of the makeshift table, his eyes roaming the tapestry.
She felt as though time had stopped, her every sense focused on his words.
“I felt as though, over the past few weeks, I had begun to accomplish that mission. But seeing you shrink into yourself in front of your own mother at the seamstress’s shop yesterday made me... feel so helpless.” He looked up at her then, his eyelids openly blinking back tears. “And it made me realize that even if I could be there to protect you at all times, as I desperately wish to be, there is only one person in the world who can control your smile. And that is you.”
Ashlin could feel every beat of her heart, thudding in her chest, pulsing in her head, throbbing in her hands.
“I do not know anything about your family,” he continued. “You have not offered to tell me anything about them. But I do not need to know them to know you. I know that you do not smile when you are with them. Please reconsider my offer to move to the palace. You do not have to continue working on the tapestry if you do not wish. I desperately want to promise my protection to you, always...” He stopped and took a deep breath, looking away for a moment before turning back to her. “But, I cannot take the responsibility of keeping a smile on your face if you refuse to help yourself.”
He placed his hands on the tapestry as he leaned slightly over the table. Ashlin noticed that his hands were trembling.
She wanted to run to the safety of his arms, to accept his offer and be close to him forever, even if it was only as a palace servant. Fortunately, the large makeshift table stood in her way and she held her ground.
“You are right,” she began, keeping her voice empty of emotion. She picked up the iron needle, letting it dance through her fingers. “I did not tell you about my family.” She would not fall for him. She was stronger than this. “My father did indeed die on Lord Cabril’s ship in that storm... because my father was Lord Cabril.”
He raised his eyebrows slightly but did not interrupt her.
“He should not have set sail that day. He should have left a week prior to that storm. But I could not bear to see him leave, and I begged him to stay. My stepmother said it was the most selfish thing I have ever done.”
“Your stepmother?”
“Lady Cabril is all I have left of a real mother. She is all I have left of a real family. She has stayed by my side through the immense hardships of this past year, even though those hardships are... my fault.” Even as she said the words, they sounded empty in her own ears. But she carried on, tapping the needle against the table for emphasis. “You do not want me. You do not know me at all. I will not let your lies and sweet words poison me against the only family I have left.”
Onric stood back, his eyes narrowing. “And your sister?”
“Stepsister. Stasiya. Her father was not a nobleman so we are trying to give her the protection of the Cabril name.”
“By taking it away from you?” His voice rose. “This woman steals your name, showers your sister in finery, and hires you out as a menial servant. She struck you. These are not the actions of a loving family.”
Ashlin shook her head. His accusations drowned her in shame, and she wanted to run away from his slicing words. She wanted to forget them before she was forced to consider whether or not they were true. “See? You are merely trying to drive a wedge between me and my family so that I will choose you.” Unable to hold back her emotion any longer, her words came out in an angry outburst. “You only want me to remain because you can easily control me, and if your unlawful actions were ever discovered you could sacrifice me to the dungeons to suffer the consequences for you!”
Onric’s shoulders slumped forward, seemingly in disappointment. He had probably never dreamed that she would see through his facade.
She dropped her head as her lungs begged for breath. Her chest was so tight, she could barely inhale. “You flirted with me.” Her voice was quiet now, but she could not hide the emotion she was feeling. “And you pretended to care for me. When all along you were planning to choose a bride at the ball.” She looked up at him.
Onric staggered backwards, his eyes wide. “This is what you think of me?”
“I wish I had never fallen in love with you.” Her jaw dropped at her own admission. She slapped the needle down onto the table, anger growling at her core. “In fact, I will not even be finishing this panel at all. I will not let you manipulate me any longer.”
“Ashlin... please let me explain.”
Striding past him without another glance, she strode towards the door. “Please inform Steward Daniel that I was not feeling well.”
“Ashlin!” He jumped after her. “At least let me see you home—it’s not safe after dark.”
She spun back around to face him, holding her hand out at arm’s length. “Do not step any closer.”
He stopped, his chest inches away from her hand, and recognition dawned on his face. His shoulders slumped in defeat. “Ashlin,” he whispered.
