Her heart fell. Again. She did not want to think about him. For the first time in nearly twenty days, she knew he would not be waiting for her in the courtyard with Blossom. On any other day, her stomach would be fluttering in anticipation as she looked forward to the warmth of his cape wrapped around her and the feel of his stable arm at her waist. He would lean down to whisper in her ear and listen as she engaged with him in quiet conversation through the dark streets.
After she had argued with him, told him no, and practically slammed the door in his face, he surely would not be waiting for her this night. She stifled a yawn and rubbed her forehead, trying to keep herself awake.
Sure enough, the dim courtyard was empty. Empty and cold. She sighed, tears stinging her eyes as she made her way to the gate that led out onto the street. She was on her own now.
“Wait!”
She turned around. A breathless Onric jogged toward her, tugging along a dancing Blossom. The fog in her mind dissipated, replaced by a feeling of furious anger. “I didn’t think you were still coming tonight.”
“Just because we had a disagreement doesn’t mean I am going to withhold help from you,” he replied. His tone was short, and she could feel the frustration still rolling off him.
“That doesn’t mean I am necessarily going to accept your help, though, does it?” She turned around. “Thank you very much, but I will be walking home tonight.” She walked down the road towards the city with long, quick strides. The cold air felt refreshing, and her hearing grew dim for a few moments as the blood rushing through her head drowned out all other sounds. As it returned, however, she noticed the soft clop of a horse’s hooves a few steps behind her.
She picked up her pace, not quite running but walking quickly, her tight fists swinging energetically.
The horse trotted forward to her side, matching her speed.
Out of the corner of her eye, she looked up at Onric. He was wrapped in his cloak and his hood was up, shadowing his face in the darkness. His head faced forward, though, so she could tell he was not looking in her direction even if she could not see his face.
How dare he? How dare he tell her what her life should look like when he lived in a palace with a perfect family, all he could ever desire at his fingertips. “You think you know everything, don’t you?” She sent her words out into the darkness in front of her. They were quiet words, filled with heat. “You have no idea what I’ve been through or what I need, and yet you have the audacity to try and control my life... ‘Already talked to the steward.’” She fumed over the last words.
He gave no indication that he had heard her at all, but without someone to cut her off, she carried on, letting the feelings of anger and resentment flow through her.
“I have worked so hard for everything I still have, and... and you have no idea what I am saying ‘yes’ to or saying ‘no’ to. You have no idea what measures I have to take to survive, or what will make me happy. You don’t even know what it is like to strive for anything!”
He plodded along next to her, still quiet.
“I am trying to keep my family together, and you are telling me to leave them. Would you ever leave your family? What would you have me do? Run away from the only people in the world who have any attachment to me and throw myself at the mercy of those who don’t? People don’t bow at my feet when I show my face in the market square. They ignore my existence or haggle me out of the very food I starved myself for in order to sell.”
His silence was grating on her nerves, and her anger had reached a boiling point.
“You have no right to toy with my heart when you have no intention of honoring it!”
The horse stopped. She did not. She was too busy wiping the tears that had risen to her eyes. Her teeth chattered, and her arms were growing numb in the cold. Her seething anger had slipped into exhaustion. She had always prided herself on her ability to face difficulties with grace and a smile. But in this moment, she just felt miserable. Lonely, misunderstood, and miserable.
Suddenly, she felt a warm cloak falling around her shoulders. The horse and his rider had not turned around to go back to the castle. Onric was walking at her side now, his cloak around her shoulders, and Blossom on his right.
“You are right,” he said. “I do not know those things.”
Her sniffles turned into sobs. He let her cry as he walked next to her until her home came into view. He paused where she usually got off the horse. “Is there anything I can do for you?” he asked.
She shook her head, slipping the cloak from her shoulders.
“Please keep it.” He pushed it back towards her. “I should have given it to you long ago.”
She paused, uncertain. She desperately wanted to hold on to its warmth. With a nod, she pulled it tightly back around her shoulders.
“I... I feel so helpless leaving you here,” he said. “Are you sure you don’t want to come back to the palace with me?”
His concern warmed her from the inside out. “No, I am not in danger here.” At least not the danger he was inferring. “Thank you for the... walk.”
He bowed his head in acknowledgment. “I would never toy with your heart,” he whispered without lifting his head.
“You already have.” Her throat hurt from the rawness in her words. “And I will not let that happen again.”
She turned and made her way to the kitchen door, checking carefully that her stepmother was not waiting for her before she entered the room in the new cloak. Climbing into bed, she wrapped herself in the thick fabric, savoring its clean fresh smell.
Though her body was exhausted, her mind refused to rest. Her stepmother was right. She was too trusting. She should never have let down her guard and imagined that anything more existed between her and a prince. Of course he was only interested in her because she could offer him what he needed without requiring anything in return.
