Stop overthinking and live in the moment,the inner voice said, surprisingly gentle this time.
He tried. The moment involved clearing debris from the kitchen table before his visitors arrived.
Heather, Charlie, Jacob, and baby Ellie exploded into the cottage mid-morning, a whirlwind of chatter, buggies, and nappy bags.
‘Give us a hug!’ Heather cried, pulling him close. ‘Good grief, you smell like my gran’s sideboard.’
‘Lavender air freshener,’ Kieran said. ‘I overdid it. Thought it would be soothing. Turns out it’s more “funeral home chic”.’
‘Nice,’ said Charlie, adjusting the sling that held Ellie. ‘No hug from me, unless you fancy crushing my daughter.’
Jacob had already upended a bucket of Lego onto the floor.
‘Jacob!’ Heather groaned.
‘It’s fine,’ said Kieran, crouching beside the boy. ‘I used to love Lego. Fancy building something together?’
Jacob grinned. ‘A rocket! With aliens!’
‘Now you’re talking.’
Lunch was pleasant chaos – supermarket sandwiches, hummus, pork pies, and endless toddler commentary.
‘Do you have crisps?’ Jacob asked solemnly.
‘I do,’ said Kieran. ‘Badger poop, snail slime, or cowpat flavour. Chef’s special.’
Jacob wrinkled his nose. ‘That’sgross! Wait … are you joking?’
‘Always,’ said Charlie. ‘Kieran’s the silliest man I’ve ever met – and I’ve met myself.’
Heather snorted. ‘And he’s lucky enough to be married to me, despite his silliness.’
‘So far,’ Charlie said.
‘Fuck off,’ retorted Heather, before clamping her hand over her mouth. ‘Jacob, don’t you dare!’
Too late. The word flew gleefully around the table.
Later, while Heather fed Ellie and Charlie made tea, Kieran helped Jacob piece together the rocket. The boy’s tongue poked out in concentration, chubby fingers fitting the plastic with precision.
Kieran felt something unfurl inside him: sudden, sharp, undeniable.
I’d like children.
The thought landed like lightning. And this time the voice in his head wasn’t the strange one. It was his own.
‘You all right there?’ Heather crouched beside him, then yelped as she knelt on a stray brick. ‘Ow! These things are medieval torture devices.’
Kieran laughed, helping her up. ‘So parenthood’s not all soft play and cupcakes.’
‘No,’ she said, glancing at Jacob, who was humming happily. ‘But it’s worth every Lego bruise.’
He smiled. ‘You’ve got two gorgeous kids and a husband who’s definitely punching.’
Charlie lobbed a pork pie at his head. Kieran caught it and handed it to Jacob.
‘Thanks!’ said Jacob, taking a huge bite.
