‘Lisa?’
‘No! I’m talking about Beth.’
Kieran stuck his tongue out at his friend. They’d arranged to FaceTime whilst Heather was out with Jacob. Lisa was in the bedroom, plugged into a meditation app for the next hour.
‘Ah,’ said Charlie, waggling his eyebrows. ‘Would that be pub chef Beth, who you dismissed as a possible love interest?’
‘I didn’t dismiss her. I just didn’t?—’
‘You said there was nothing to tell. Now she’s a “legend”’ – Charlie did annoying air quotes – ‘so please, expand.’
Kieran rubbed his forehead. He’d told Charlie about Lisa’s unexpected reappearance earlier in the call. To Charlie’s credit, he hadn’t mocked him. Yet.
‘The village flooded last night. People took shelter in the pub. Beth kept everyone fed, calm, organised – like she’d trained for crisis management.’
Charlie nodded gravely. ‘Very wise. If I were up to my neck in water, I’d head straight to the pub too. I’d head there right now,if I weren’t trapped with this one.’ He tilted the camera towards Ellie, sleeping angelically in her crib.
‘She’s cute,’ said Kieran.
‘She’s an energy vampire,’ said Charlie. ‘Love her, but she feeds on my will to live.’
‘Are you breastfeeding her personally?’
‘With my hairy chest? I don’t think so. Now stop deflecting and tell me exactly how Beth earned “legend” status.’
Kieran told him. The blackout, the candles, the calm. The way Beth had joked with drenched villagers while handing out mugs of soup. ‘She’s got this presence. It’s hard to explain. Just … something magical.’
Charlie grinned. ‘She’sbewitchedyou, mate. And Lisa?’
‘Complained a lot, then fell asleep.’
Back at the cottage, Lisa had moaned nonstop about her ordeal and demanded he order a dehumidifierimmediately. She’d then spent an hour straightening her hair and another gossiping on the phone. Kieran had caught snippets:“nightmare”, “yokels”, “cheap plonk.”
‘I don’t get it,’ said Charlie. ‘She dumped you for Yoga Ken, and the moment he cheats, she’s back like a rash.’
Kieran fiddled with the strap of his watch, which his parents had given him on his twenty-first. ‘Yeah, well. She’s not a bad person, just a bit…’
‘Flaky? Self-absorbed? Full of shit?’
‘Don’t hold back, Charlie.’ Kieran felt he should defend Lisa – she had been his girlfriend for three years – but the words didn’t come.
‘I won’t. You’re too polite. Be honest with yourself.’
Ellie stirred. Charlie grimaced. ‘Speak of the devil – and she’s filled her nappy. Seriously, mate, be careful. Lisa’ll suck the joy right out of you. Clear your head and think about whatyouwant, not the tantric crap she sold you last time.’
‘Just because she likes to shower beforeandafter sex, that doesn’t make her evil.’
‘It makes herweird. Anyway, I’ve got a code brown to deal with. Keep me posted, especially about Beth. Something’s cooking there.’
Grimacing at Charlie’s cooking pun, Kieran returned to his app. Little by little, it was looking more functional. Like something people might pay for. Use, in fact. Which was the whole point. Why create something that floated quietly in an ocean of apps when it needed to stand out?
Beth stands out.
Kieran froze. Then he looked round the room for the source of the voice. As before, there was nothing.
‘Go away,’ he muttered.
Prom paused mid-groom, tail twitching.
