‘Can I join you?’
Every molecule in Kieran’s yoga-averse body screamed no.Make up an excuse. But a tiny part of him wanted to suss out the situation. ‘Sure. But aren’t you planning on buying something?’
Lisa shook her head. ‘Nah, you know I could kit out this shop twice over with my fitness wear. Come on, there’s a fab coffee shop on Hanover Street that does the best gluten-free vegan cakes.’
As Lisa bounced off, Kieran wondered if he should sprint in the opposite direction. No, that would be mean. Besides, he’d already established his running skills left a lot to be desired.
Oat Couture gave off a healthy and holistic vibe. Everyone in the café looked as if they worked out daily and bleached their eyeballs regularly.
‘Sylvie!’ Lisa launched herself at a petite brunette slicing a cake that resembled a cowpat. If cows pooped in neat rectangles.
‘Lisa!’ The young woman put down her knife and hugged Lisa. ‘So good to see you. And is this your new boyfriend? Registering high on the cute-ometer!’
Eh, what?Kieran didn’t mind the ‘cute’ rating, but why would Sylvie say that, unless…
Lisa emitted a forced laugh. ‘No, absolutely not. I’m still with Sven. Loved up as ever. This is an old … friend.’
Kieran didn’t know how to feel. Demoted from ex-boyfriend to old friend, and the ‘absolutely not’ stung.
‘Oh, sorry.’ Sylvie picked up the knife and continued slicing the cowpat. The label saidChocolate Avocado Fudge Cake. ‘I thought I heard… Never mind. What can I get you guys?’
Kieran and Lisa ordered. Oat-milk cappuccinos and a slice of the fudge (sludge) cake for Lisa, Kieran opting for lemon and blueberry polenta cake.
Dispersing the fern design in her coffee froth, Lisa pursed her inflated lips. ‘So, are you seeing anyone?’ she asked. ‘As in a woman?’
Kieran snorted. ‘I knew what you meant, Lisa, unless you think I need a shrink or I’ve started hallucinating.’
‘The same old Kieran. Always quick with the sharp retorts, usually as a way of avoiding an answer.’
Kieran took a bite of his cake and chewed it slowly, knowing this would wind Lisa up further.
‘By the way, everything’s fine with Sven. I don’t know what Sylvie’s talking about.’ As she spoke, Lisa tore apart three sugar sachets and stirred them violently into her coffee.
‘That’s great to hear. And no, I’m not seeing anyone.’ Kieran batted away an image of Beth, and his embarrassing snuggle with Prom.
‘And how’s the app thing going?’
Lisa had never shown an interest in what she described as ‘boring techie stuff’. To be fair, Kieran hadn’t exactly embraced Lisa’s super-zen lifestyle. He’d boggled at her ability to subsist on kale and beetroot shots, dedicate a whole cupboard to reusable water bottles, and bend into shapes that made him question basic human anatomy.
‘It’s going. There’s some interest from investors, but a lot of work still to be done. I could show you the rough design if you’re?—’
‘I lied!’ Lisa wailed, and a solitary tear trickled down her perfectly made-up face.
Kieran had never seen Lisa ugly cry. Even when her beloved dog Wolfie died, she’d wept prettily. ‘I lied about Sven. He’s not in Thailand. He’s in Twickenham with bloody Tania!’
Nice alliteration.Not massively relevant, though, and Kieran’s knowledge of Twickenham extended no further than rugby. As for Tania…
‘She’s been sniffing around him for ages. Thrusting her tits in his face and whimpering about howconnectedthey are, and could she have one-on-one sessions with him?’
‘Maybe she completes him.’Ah, cheap shot, Kieran.One which sailed over Lisa’s head.
‘We were good together, right?’
Kieran looked at the face he’d once adored. Inflated lips and boobs aside, she was still Lisa. A bit loopy, very bendy, and … did she want to try again?
‘Kieran, can we try again?’
Oh, help.
