Silence stretched. The pub rumbled on, oblivious.
Kieran swallowed. ‘Beth. I haven’t forgotten what you told me. Not for a second. But the life you’re imagining, it’s not a dealbreaker. It’s not even the deal.’
Her brows knitted together, disbelief warring with hope.
‘I don’t want a checklist future,’ he said. ‘I wantyou. Exactly as you are.’ He paused, then added softly, ‘Anyone who makes you feel love is conditional on what your body can do is stupid. Dumb, and very, very stupid.’
Her eyes shone, furious and wet. ‘You really mean that?’
‘I really do. I wasn’t saying that I need children to feel complete. And there are other ways, by the way. Which I know you know. I was just babbling to Charlie, that’s all. And I’m so sorry that I upset you.’
Beth nodded, brimming eyes fixed on Kieran.
He took a step closer. Not too close: just enough that she’d hear him without straining. ‘I don’t know what my future looks like yet,’ he said. ‘Does anyone, really? But nothing I said meant you’re in the way of it. You’re … the bit that makes it make sense.’
‘I didn’t want to be a problem,’ she said quietly.
‘You’re not something I have to work around, like my stupid app,’ he replied. ‘You’re someone I want to be with.’
A faint, wobbly laugh escaped her. ‘You’re terrible at timing, you know.’
‘Consistently.’
Another pause. Then she stepped forward a fraction, enough for her forehead to rest lightly against his. He didn’t move, didn’t push, just breathed with her in the low rhythm of the pub.
‘By the way.’ Beth’s breath warmed his cheek. She stiffened slightly, as if her next words might seem flippant. ‘Your cottage has a name now.’
‘Really?’ Kieran raised an eyebrow. ‘Does it have anything to do with berries?’
She gave him a small, shy smile that punched him in the ribs. ‘Now I’ve visited it… Whiskers Rest.’
Kieran’s chest warmed in a way he hadn’t expected. ‘Whiskers Rest,’ he repeated. ‘Prom will love that.’
‘It suits him. It feels right.’
It did. More than he’d admit. And for the first time since Beth had walked out on that conversation, she didn’t look as if she was about to disappear.
Chapter Fifty-One
Beth had rehearsed the words half a dozen times on her walk from the kitchen to the pub garden.
No. More than half a dozen. She’d gone through versions ranging from breezy – ‘Hey, funny story’ – to mildly deranged – ‘So, you know how life sometimes hands you a magical crisis?’ – to downright cowardly – ‘Have you ever considered moving to Australia?’ None of them seemed remotely suitable.
You thought you’d told him the hardest thing of all, but this will send him screaming for the hills.
But if she wanted to make this work, she needed to be completely honest.
Kieran was waiting at one of the picnic benches, jacket zipped to his chin, two flasks in front of him. Steam curled into the cool afternoon air, mingling with the faint aroma of chips drifting from the kitchen.
He smiled when he saw her. A warm smile. A filled-with-love smile.
A smile that made Beth’s heart expand and panic in equal measure.
‘Thought you might need this,’ he said, nudging a flask towards her. ‘You sounded stressed when you called. I thought of lacing the coffee with rum, but as you’re working…’
Beth would kill for a shot of something alcoholic, but she needed a clear head. ‘Thank you. Getting blind drunk might not be a good idea.’
Kieran sipped his coffee, clearly unnerved by Beth’s demeanour.
