Scott ignored the advice.
“The doctor said it would take a while to let go of the anxiety,” Justin replied in a quiet voice no one else could hear. “I know it’s going to be a long time before I stop with the constant vigilance, and I wasn’t the one in the line of fire.”
Scott started to answer and froze. Justin followed his line of sight and spotted two men with their backs to them, wearing dark jackets. He pulled Scott over to the side so they were out of the stream of festivalgoers.
“It’s not Frick and Frack,” Justin said. “They’re in jail. These guys aren’t even in suits. Just dark jackets. You’re safe.”
Scott pretended to look at his phone while he took several measured breaths under Justin’s watchful eye.
I hate being so damaged. Justin’s being patient, but what if I never get over it? I know what the doctor said—that it can take months or longer. That being stalked by a killer counts as trauma. That having reactions is normal. Doesn’t mean I like it.
I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since the warehouse. I keep seeing moments from the showdown in my dreams, and sometimes they just pop into my mind. I flinch at anything that sounds like a shot. I haven’t even felt like doing more than cuddling. I’m a mess.
“You’re having a perfectly normal response to a very abnormal situation,” Justin said quietly, and Scott rememberedthat his boyfriend had an increasingly strong psychic connection. “I’m here for the long run. I’m not going to run away. I’ll do anything I can to support you. Just give yourself time and a little grace.”
And we will take down anyone who hurts us,his coyote swore loyally.
Scott looked into Justin’s eyes and saw the truth of his words. He took a few more deep breaths and ran through one of the litanies the trauma counselor had taught him. It always surprised Scott when the techniques worked.
“Okay,” he said finally. “That’s…better.”
Our mate makes everything better,his coyote said.
“Do we need to go home?” Justin asked.
Scott shook his head. “No. I want to stay. The weather is perfect, and I helped make this happen. I’m not going to let those bastards take it away from me.”
That morning, Scott had done his presentations to enthusiastic attendees. The events went well, even if Scott had to white-knuckle his way through them, but apparently the audiences didn’t notice.
Those count as wins. I wasn’t sure I could do them, and not only did I manage, but I’m doing better than I’m giving myself credit for. I’m not broken. Just…dented…a little.
“Hey,” Justin prodded gently. “Stop thinking. All the fun stuff is out here,” he teased with a grin.
“I’m trying,” Scott admitted. “Thanks for being patient.”
“I’m here. I love you. Not going anywhere,” Justin assured him.
Scott gripped his hand more tightly before releasing it. “Let’s go listen to the band,” he suggested, trying not to feel self-conscious.
“Sounds like a plan,” Justin replied, and together they wove their way through the crowd.
The festival didn’t have the budget for big-name acts, but the slate of popular local and regional performers offered plenty of variety with groups that frequently played at clubs and bars or headlined nearby music events. Scott had been excited when the committee put together the roster and resolved not to let what had happened tarnish his joy.
When they reached the back of the crowd by the stage, they saw a familiar face.
“Good to see you out and about,” his cousin Lynn greeted them. “I snuck away from the shop for a few minutes so I could see the festival for myself. This is amazing.”
“You’re right, it’s pretty spectacular.” Scott felt a blush of pride at having been part of the committee, helping in at least a small way to bring the festival to life.
Lynn nodded. “It takes something special to get people off their duffs and out of the house, even on a nice day. Just look around. I swear the whole town is here, and quite a few visitors too. That’s great for everyone.”
“I’m guessing the store has been busy?” Justin asked.
“Slammed,” Lynn said. “I need to head back. But I know I won’t get off until tonight, and I didn’t want to miss all the fun. Come by when you can. We haven’t seen you in a while.” She waved goodbye and headed through the crowd in the direction of the shop.
Scott sighed. “She makes it sound like I went missing for weeks. It really wasn’t that long that we were dodging the suit guys.”
Plenty long enough, his coyote chimed in.
