I turn back to see Nova, clutching the cord of her VIP badge.
“What happened out there?”
“We got our asses handed to us.”
Her eyes glint.“It wasn’t so bad.”
“It was brutal because I could’ve fixed it.I don’t like to lose.”
“Then teach them how to win.”
I exhale hard.I can’t tell her LA is my endgame.I don’t want to see the way she’d look at me if she knew my plan.
I feel the urge to push her away and bury my pain somewhere deep, to say she couldn’t possibly understand.
But I don’t want to push her away.
“I might not know much about basketball, Clay, but I hear it’s a team sport.”
I cock my head.“Oh yeah?”
“Mhmm.”She smiles.“You don’t need to take it all on.The wins or the losses.”
She comes close, and I let her.I inhale the scent of her shampoo, tugging her body against mine.“Say that again.”
Nova laughs and hugs me back.“It’s not all about you.”
It should feel horrible.Instead, there’s relief.
Where the fuck was she when I was a kid?
“Can I show you something?”She pulls her sketchpad from her big bag and holds it out.
First Jay.
Then Miles.
Atlas.
Rookie.
I don’t have words.
Not because they’re good, though they are, but because she sees something in each of them that I’ve never even looked for.
“This one is my favorite.”She turns the page to reveal one of me.
I’m fearless.
The kind of fearless that doesn’t get threatened by the other team or his own.
My chest constricts.I want to be the man in this image.The man she sees.
I want to prove to ownership, to Harlan, to Coach, that I’m worth what they paid to get me here.Today, I wasn’t.
I’m fascinated by the way she looks at me and obsessed with the possibility I could be that man now, again.I feel unburdened, and hopeful, and lighter than I have since college.Maybe even before then.
I look both ways down the hall, waiting for an LA staff person to pass before I drag Nova against me.She makes a little sound of surprise, as though she doesn’t see how fucking inevitable it is.
