And maybe I don’t want to ruin this.
This perfect moment with Sierra in my arms,notreminding her what an asshole I’ve been.
She pushes herself up on an elbow and looks down at my face.
“Have you ever, in the year since your parents died, just sat alone for a moment,” she asks me softly, “and asked yourself in the silence what it is thatyouwant?”
I swallow, hard.
The truth is, I haven’t. Not really.
But I think I know the answer to that question now.
I look into those haunting green eyes.
Then I have to look away.
What I want is closure. They died so suddenly. So unexpectedly. And I know I’m having trouble letting go.
Because I don’twantto let go.
Just like I’m having trouble letting her go.
Even though I know I have to.
This wanting—which is just wishing that things could be different—is futile.
June was right. I need to face reality.
No matter what I say to Sierra, or don’t say, she’s still leaving.
She has a life to get back to in the city.
“I think I want to feel like their work isn’t done,” I say, my voice rough with emotion. “Because maybe that way, their lives aren’t really over.” I laugh without any humor in it. “Stupid, I know. I mean, I know they’re gone. And I know I can’t change that.”
Sierra lays her head on my chest. “Then why are you still trying to?”
Chapter 21
Sierra
We spend the next day tearing down what’s left of the festival, me and Sophie and the whole committee, and anyone else who’s able to volunteer.
Then I spend the evening with Soph at the cottage while she starts packing her things; mostly, we just talk and listen to music and laugh.
I confess to her that I’ve been sleeping with Mason. I tell her how good he’s been to me when we’re together, and she offers me the most priceless advice that a best friend can. “As long as it makes you feel good, enjoy it for all it’s worth. You deserve to be happy.”
The next day, we all come together again to clean up Water Street. And afterwards, the committee gathers in the bar for a celebratory round and a “thank you” dinner, courtesy of the Grant family.
Sophie and I skip out early so that I can help her finish packing up at the cottage. She’s leaving first thing in the morning to catch an early ferry from Nanaimo to Vancouver. Pete and Dirty need her back.
Which means that tonight I’ve organized a little goodbye party in my best friend’s honor with the help of some of our new friends, over at Bev and Bill’s house. I put on my sexiest little body-condress, sage green, because Sophie tells me it makes my eyes look like “sex on fire,” and my favorite Kiss & Tell lipstick, a dreamy, soft coral shade called Make Him Remember, because Mason is going to be at the party.
Sophie is killing it in a dramatic fit-and-flare, black with white polka dots, her hair in a retro updo, when we arrive at the party to much fanfare.
It’s just after eight, and everyone else is already here, except June. She walks in just after we do, with flowers for Bev and a bottle of Twisted Tree cider for Soph.
I’m just amazed that I managed to get June and Mason to come to the same party.
