Danica didn’t say anything, still pressed against the door, watching us both.
“Uh-uh,” Ash said. “Bullshit. People who truly care about you won’t give a fuck who you’re with, as long as you’re happy. Andfuckeveryone else. Your friends and the band, they’ll accept this.”
“This?What, that I fuck couples? That I’m in a three-way with you and your wife? Xander, Summer, Brody, none of them want to hear that.”
Ash ground his teeth, shook his head, and turned on his heel. He took Danica by the hand. “Let’s go.”
“Wait,” Danica said gently, stopping him. “Maybe we should—”
“So, what,” I pressed, “you’re just pushing me out? That’s it? Because I won’t play your way?”
“I don’t want to push you out, Matt,” he said, not even looking at me. “I’ve lived with this kind of secret before. I won’t do it again.”
“What secret?” I hissed back. Pushing him, again, to admit it. To admit his feelings for me, if he ever really had any.
He turned his head to look at me, his eyes on me steady… dark and aching with something like longing, and my heart stuttered in my chest. “I know you’re already in love with her, Matt,” he said, his voice low and rough. “And I’m already in love with both of you.” He let those words hang in the air, waiting for my response to them.
I didn’t say anything. I totally choked.
It was the first time he ever told me he loved me. Wasn’t this what I was waiting for?
And now he was waiting. Waiting for me to say something back.
“Yeah, I get it,” he said. “You fuck men. You don’t fall in love with them. I’ve heard it all before, believe me.” He opened the door and tugged Danica out of the room. She looked back at me, her soft blue eyes looking sadder than I’d ever seen them. Pleading with me.
I just stood there, blinking, his words ringing through my head as the tequila short-circuited my system.
Minutes later, as they piled into Haz’s car outside, I followed them in silence. I slipped into the backseat with Ash without a word and put my head on the window. I felt him sigh next to me.
I thought they’d drop me off at my place, but they didn’t. It was all kind of a blur until I found myself on their couch, blinking up at Ashley’s face. His jagged eyebrows, his eyes dark with longing again as he looked down at me.
Was that it? He thought I didn’t love him?
All this time, and he thoughtIdidn’t lovehim?
As if I’d ever break his heart like that?
“I’m not Dylan,” I blurted.
He just looked at me, but said nothing as he tucked a blanket over me.
“Why didn’t you just drop me at home?”
He blew out an annoyed breath. “Ask me tomorrow when the hangover kicks in and you wanna die.” He started to pull away but I grabbed his arm, anchoring him.
“I’ve got a picture of her pussy on my phone.”
He met my eyes.
“Aren’t you gonna say anything?”
“Matt…” He rubbed his hand over his face. “This album is really important—”
“Yeah. You’ve said that.” Many times. We both had our excuses, right? And that was his. “She didn’t tell you?”
“She told me.”
“She asked me to delete it,” I pressed on. “Actually, Taylor asked me to delete it. She said it was hers, but I knew it was Danica. Her wedding ring is in the picture.”
