“Stop staring at me.”
I felt the smile tug at my mouth. “Why?”
“I don’t like being vulnerable.”
I squeezed her hand in mine. “But it’s making me melt. You’ve never admitted before that you needed me.”
She looked almost annoyed, but sincere when she said, “I’ve always needed you. You make me a better me.”
“Devi. You’re breaking my heart right now.”
“Don’t tease me. This is hard for me.” She groaned a little. “I just have this ingrained unwillingness to lose. At any cost. Even the cost of ending up alone.”
I stared at her. It amazed me how strong she was, but seeing her like this, opening up to me, just made her even more beautiful. Because it just proved how strong she was. Stronger than she knew.
“You know,” I told her, “I thought I’d be able to walk away from you when I figured you out. When I sussed out your weaknesses. That’s what I do. I find weaknesses and I cut them out. Maybe that’s why I struggled so much to deal with my own. I tried to pretend they weren’t there, because it was too scary, too hard to dig down that deep. But with you… I could never find any weaknesses. No matter how deep I got.”
“Well, I guess you just found some.” She didn’t say the rest, but I could see the fear all over her face.Are you going to leave me now?
“Yeah, I found them. There they are. And I just love you more.”
“You love me?”
“I loved you when I cornered you in a hallway and kissed you, and you called me the devil. I hated it that you hated me. Because I already loved you. I was fucking enamored with you from the moment I met you.”
“I didn’t really hate you, Dane,” she whispered.
But she still hadn’t told me she loved me.
“Would you love me more if I was poor?” I asked her. I was dead serious. I needed to know.
She looked stunned. “What?”
“Would you love me more if I wasn’t white?”
“Oh my God, Dane.”
“Would you love me more if I was kind?”
“No.” She took my face in her hands. “Because I couldn’t possibly love you more than I already do.”
“Good,” I choked out.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she said. “Why didn’t you just tell me that you loved me? All that time you were in Toronto…? Before you took off like that. You could’ve reached out and told me.”
I swallowed. “I mean, what was I supposed to do? Send you a text? ‘Hey, I love you’?”
“Yeah. Maybe.”
“Hey,” I said softly, looking into her eyes. I pushed my hands into her hair and pulled her face close to mine. “I love you.”
She kissed me then, and I tumbled right into it. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her back, long and slow, as we fell back on the couch.
“I would’ve given it all up for you,” I told her, scorching the truth onto her lips with my own.
“I know, Dane,” she breathed. “I believe you.”
Chapter Forty-Five
