I wasn’t about to stick around and see what happened next.
I did what I had to do.
But now she was straight-up avoiding me, and I didn’t like it.
I’d tried to focus on other things. I’d met up with Brody today, discussed my contract with the Players. I would’ve loved to bury myself in work, but unfortunately I was gonna have to wait around for things to get going with my new band. Dirty was heading back out on the road this week; Matt left this morning. We wouldn’t actually be a band, as in making music together, until next June when Matt came off the road with Dirty.
Ten months away.
That seemed like a good thing a few days ago. Gave me some time to lay low, regroup—and keep an eye on Cary for a while.
But now it also gave me time to fuck around with Courteney.
And I knew I couldn’t do that.
What happened the other night, though… She was so fucking into all my kinky, aggressive shit.
It totally fucked with my head.
I figured she’d be scared off by my less-than-delicate approach. She’d get what she wanted, more or less… but in the aftermath, she’d realize I wasn’t the one for her. I was a beast in bed—aman. Too much for her to handle. And she’d start looking elsewhere for her first time.
Yeah, right.
That was a bunch of bullshit I told myself so I could go through with it in the moment.
And I’d made sure it was good for her.
I didn’tneedto make it good for her, but I’d made sure she came like a fucking meteor shower. Because I was selfish like that.
I wanted her to fucking love it.
And now… I couldn’t stop fantasizing about plunging into that sweet pussy of hers and popping her cherry.
It was everything I wasn’t supposed to think about… and now I had a visual of it writhing on a bed in front of me. I had the feel of her, the taste of her, the smell of her all over me. I had the feel of her silky-wet insides on my tongue, and I couldn’t shake it.
And she was avoiding me.
I should’ve been relieved, right? It was the right thing.
If I couldn’t put the brakes on, she should.
But no, she shouldn’t have to. I should’ve been the grownup in the situation and stopped it before it started.
No matter how many times she tried.
Because this was all wrong.
I should’ve avoided her at all costs, right from the beginning.
It wasn’t like I was incapable of avoiding her. I’d done it before.
I’d been avoiding Courteney Clarke for years…
Ever since I saw her at that party at Brody’s house when she was sixteen.
I’d seen her through the crowd that night, and I’d beelined over to her before I even thought about what I was doing. I didn’t know it was her. I just sawsomeoneI had to get closer to.
I’d barely glimpsed her, and I felt drawn to her.
