They were leaving. Today.
Con was carrying bags out the back door, which was standing open, and Amber’s sister, Liv, was with her in the kitchen. I scraped my hand over my face.
My best friend wasleaving.
I held out my other hand and waved it around until Amber put a mug in it.
The caffeine helped to get me moving. I even had time to choke back some food and grab a shower before we all climbed into Dylan’s boat and headed over to the mainland.
Dylan’s mom and two of his sisters met us at the airport to kiss him goodbye, Liv came to see Amber off, and it felt like a real goodbye. Even though Dylan and Amber had just been traveling around North America on a four-month leg of Dirty’sHell & Backworld tour, they were now heading overseas for the long haul. They’d be back in three months for a short break, but other than that, they’d be on the road a long damn time.
From their point of view, they’d have everything they needed. Dylan would be doing what he loved best: playing drums with Dirty. And Amber, as Dirty’s tour photographer, would be living her dream of traveling and photographing the world. They had their careers. They had each other.
But I wouldn’t havethem.
I gave Amber a ridiculously long hug, and at the end of it, I said the only thing I could really think of. “Take care of him.”
“I promise,” she said, and it felt good. I liked the idea of Dylan being loved, even if I couldn’t be the one to do it. “I love you, Ashley,” she told me, with tears in her mint-green eyes.
I knew she did. In her way. A friendly sort of way.
But her heart was with my best friend.
“Yeah, same here,” I said, because what could I say? I still did. Maybe I wasn’t in love with her, but I’d probably always love her. Once I felt that way about someone, I never really had a change of heart.
My heart just didn’t work that way.
She let me go, and Dylan pulled me in for a hug.
“We’ll miss you,” he said.
“Yeah.”
“Won’t be the same without you.”
“I know. Good luck with your shitty opening band.”
He laughed. “Get yourself a band and we’ll tour again. World domination… we’re destined for it. Together.”
Yeah. Maybe.
“I’ll see you in England,” I said. Because I was heading over there in a mere two weeks to play a festival with Dirty.
Why did it feel like I was losing him or something, all over again?
“Yeah.” He slapped me on the back. Then we let go, and Amber took his hand. They started to walk away, slowly, but Dylan was still looking at me. “Love you, man,” he said.
“Yeah.”
I watched him and Amber walk away with Con and some Dirty crew members who’d come to help them. I didn’t see anyone else in the band, but they might’ve been catching different flights. I didn’t walk them to security or anything. I just watched them go.
Amber turned back once and took a photo of us all standing here. I lifted my hand in a little goodbye wave and she pressed her hand to her heart.
Then Dylan put his arm around her and they were gone.
I held it together, somehow. I didn’t cry. Even when Dylan’s mom started sobbing as soon as he was out of sight.
“They’re always your babies, you know?” she said, looking kinda small and lost, and I gave her a hug. I had a special place in my heart for Mama Cope, as I’d always called her.
