Damn, but I hated to admit that.
“Who?” he said, giving me another dead-cold look.
Right. Like he’d already forgotten his name.
“My ex-boyfriend.”
“Right about what?”
I sighed again. “Last night, after dinner… he kind of made a move on me.”
“He did fuckingwhat?”
“I guess… he’s been trying to win me back, just like you said. Lying to me about his motives. I thought we were being mature, staying friends. He thought differently.” I hugged myself. It was kinda chilly in my birthday dress. “I didn’t stand up to him, either. I just let it go. I guess I thought I could handle it. Handle him. But I should’ve been more firm. Then maybe he wouldn’t have shown up tonight, like he thought I’d actually want him to or something.” Jesus. I hated the uncertainty in my own voice. “Maybe I’m just not very good at being firm with people. You know, drawing boundaries. Too nice and all that crap.”
Ashley cleared his throat. “There’s nothing wrong with being a nice person, Danica.”
“I didn’t invite him out tonight, Ashley, I swear. I mean, I think everyone deserves respect and all. I was trying to be polite about it. But I was actually kind of hoping I could get him to leave when you… interrupted.”
“You were?” He seemed relieved to hear it, but he really didn’t look happy that I was upset. So that was something.
“Yes, but I wasn’t doing it very well. I don’t think he was getting the message.”
“Trust me, I gave him the message,” he said bluntly.
“Yeah. And I guess I thank you for that. But that’s really not the point. Did you just give me an ultimatum back there? Like, you or him?”
Now he looked kinda sorry for his words in the bar. Maybe. But he didn’t apologize or take them back. “Something like that.”
“Well, if you haven’t figured it out yet, I choose you.”
A smile started to form on his lips.
“But. What is it you expect of me?” I asked him. “In your mind, I’m not allowed to have any friend who has a penis?”
“Define friend.”
“Friend. End of definition.”
“That dude is not your friend,” he said.
And I knew he was right. Deep down, I knew.
How many times had my sister told me that exact same thing?
Maybe I was just annoyed that I hadn’t seen it all along. That maybe Carter never was trustworthy. That I should’ve listened to Taylor and my sister when they tried to warn me about him.
That Dani was right and I was wrong.
“So you don’t trust me at all?” I asked him.
Ashley shook his head, slowly. “It’s got nothing to do with trust, Danica. You want me or you want someone else.”
“When have I ever given you the idea that I wanted someone else?” I asked him. “Just because I wanted to take things slowly between us at first doesn’t mean I wanted someone else.”
“You had your ex-boyfriend hanging around. Coming to your birthday dinner, instead of me. What was I supposed to think?”
“You brought your ex-girlfriend to my birthday party, and I didn’t get upset about it,” I pointed out. “And you have my sister’s nametattooed between your legs.”
