She really meant thatshit.
And she wasn’t even blaming me forit.
It was the first time, ever, she didn’t put it all on me, didn’t blame me for everything going wrong. She didn’t even lookmad.
“That’s nottrue.”
“It’s true,” she said. “Please. Get off the bus before someone sees you. I don’t want anyone to see you here. Just…please.” Her gray eyes fucking pleaded withme.
Then she disappeared into thewashroom.
I sat on the side of her bed, scraping myself together. Slowly pulling my jeans back on. But my head felt broken, my brain shattered into a jumble of pieces that didn’t seem to want to reconnect. Her words had knocked all the sense out ofme.
Fucking shockedme.
I can’t handlethis.
She wasn’t even blamingme.
For once, Maggie wasn’t blamingme.
I’d waited for so long for her to stop blaming me. And now that she suddenly did… I didn’t know what the fuck todo.
What the fuck was I supposed todo?
If I was the problem, if I’d fucked things up, at least I had a chance of fixingit.
If Maggie was the problem… What the hell was I supposed to do to fixthat?
Chapter Eleven
Maggie
Ishould’ve knowneverything wouldreallyfall apart when we rolled intoVegas.
For five days, Zane and I had managed to keep the peace by pretty much staying the fuck away from each other. It was like we both just knew if we got within screaming distance of one another, we’d end up fighting and/or fucking, and hurting ourselves and each other all overagain.
So we kept ourdistance.
I knew he was probably mad at me, again, and hurt, and I couldn’t fixit.
But I’d been honest with him. I couldn’t handle just having a sexual relationship withhim.
And I couldn’t handle anythingmore.
I sure as fuck couldn’t handle losing himcompletely.
Which meant I was smack in the middle of the world’s worst Catch-22.
Damned if Ido…
Damned if Idon’t.
Fortunately, the rest of the tour was going strong. I didn’t think I could deal with any major catastrophes on that front without dissolving into a puddle of uselessmush.
The Phoenix show was incredible, and the rest of Dirty seemedhappy.
The day after the Phoenix show, Jesse and Dylan took Katie and Amber on a helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon with a picnic on the canyon floor. Katie invited me along, but I didn’t go. Too fucking depressing, being surrounded by all thatromance.
