I didn’t respond tothat.
Zane:I like having youaround
I didn’t even know what to say to that. I really needed to stop looking at histexts.
But every time my phone pinged, Ilooked.
Zane:you make everythingbetter
Zane:sunshine
Zane:cloudyday
Zane:something about the month ofMay?
Oh, sweet Jesus. He was serenading me with “My Girl” overtext.
Me:Don’t getcheesy.
Zane:Motown,baby
Zane:it’s aclassic
I didn’trespond.
Zane:I’ll Go is aboutyou
I stared at his text as the words sank in.Slowly.
“I’ll Go” was an epic love song on the new album, written by Zane and Seth. Entirely acoustic, with Jesse and Seth on guitar and searing, haunting vocals from Zane. It was some of his best vocal work on the album, forsure.
There was a line in it about gray eyes. I assumed it was about Elle, that Seth had written it for her. Though I didn’task.
Maybe I just wanted to believe that wastrue.
Zane:come see me when we get toPortland
Shit.
I tucked my phoneaway.
Zane was constantly texting and calling me—at home. Flirting, coming on to me, reminding me how awesome it would be if I just spread my legs forhim.
And yes, there were times when I did spread my legs forhim.
But at home it was easier to just avoid him most of the time. It wasn’t like he lived right next door. Here, I’d have to be around him all the time and I knew he was going to put the pressure on, flirt withme.
But worse, he was going to be sweet with me to try to win meover.
And when Zane was sweet with me… it totally fucked withme.
It made me imagine what it could be like if I let him love me. It made me want hislove.
It made me want to love himback.
It crossed the wires in my head, lighting a fire in me that would just keep burning, hotter and hotter until I found some way to douse itout.
Usually, I threw a bucket of cold water on it when I reminded myself what a manwhore hewas.
