I smiledback.
* * *
We were barelyin the door of the hotel room when Zane reached to take my hand in his. He tugged me close to him as the door shut behind us and slipped my purse off my shoulder, placing it gentlyaside.
It was his hotel room, and it smelled faintly of him; the smell of his bodywash from his morningshower.
We were alone, completely alone, for the first time in a longtime.
Even when we’d worked in the lounge of his tour bus, we’d left the door unlocked and Shady had drifted in andout.
The door was definitely lockednow.
When he’d asked me to come back to the hotel with him after we had our lunch, I’d said yes without hesitation. I didn’t ask why, but I didn’t need to. We both wanted to be alone together and we both knew what itmeant.
We hadn’t been alone like this in his hotel room or mine since the night of his disappearance into thedesert.
I’d told him when he’d followed me home to Vancouver that we could get through this together; that I’d be here for him as his friend, or more—when he was ready. Since that night five weeks ago, I’d been telling myself I could be Zane’s friend, indefinitely, without more between us, because that’s what was best for both ofus.
It was what was best for him as he struggled to stayclean.
It was what was best for ourrelationship.
But it wasn’teasy.
As Zane slipped his fingers into my hair and cupped my face, tingles skittered through my body. Fire ignited as he skimmed his thumb across my cheek. Warmth swelled through me; the anticipation of more of his touch. My nipples tightened and butterflies stirred in my stomach. My clit pulsed. The restless need for him was already building between my legs. My heart was pounding and that back-of-knee-sweat thing?Yup.
As I slipped my hands under his leather jacket, onto his waist, they were kindashaking.
Because Zane Traynor would always be so much more to me than afriend.
Right now, I wanted him more than I’deverwanted him… and I hoped to God he wasready.
I’d had a lot of restless nights lately, and as much as I told myself it was all for the best and the greater good… I’d missed Zane like this. The intimacy of his face this close to mine, the feel of his breath on my skin and the warmth of his hands on my body. The look in his ice-blue eyes, his pupils dilating as he looked atme.
This lust-charged space between us. The bone-deep—no;soul-deepmagneticpull.
We’d been sucked into each other’s orbits the day we met, and we were still going around andaround.
Would we everstop?
No. I couldn’t imagine that everhappening.
I’d only been able to stuff my desire for him down—just barely—and focus on work because, frankly, I knew how to do that. And because I knew it would be incredibly unfair to jump on him and shove sex in his face when I’d given him so much flack over the years about staying sober, giving up pot and retiring his manslutways.
When he’d finally done all I’d ever asked of him, and told me he needed some time without being involved with anyone, including me… how could I disrespect his efforts to stay clean by trying to lure him right back intobed?
It wouldn’t be fair, it wouldn’t be respectful, and it definitely wouldn’t be love. And the fact was I loved this man. I’d just gotten his name tattooed on my body, for fuck’ssake.
Love.
I loved him more right now, in this moment, than I probably ever had, and I’d doanythingto support him staying clean and living a long, healthy and happy life… Even if it meant I couldn’t be withhim.
I’d sworn that tomyself.
That if Zane decided he didn’t want to be with me once he got clean and stayed that way, I wasn’t going to fuck up his life by chasing after him and complicating things forhim.
One thing I knew: Zane Traynor was a man who knew what hewanted.
