“Yeah. But make sure you get some sleep,Maggie.”
Maggie nodded, then glanced at me. I really couldn’t read that look, but it was somewhere between sympathy anduncertainty.
I wanted to reach out and pull her into my armsagain.
But then sheleft.
Brody looked me in the eye as soon as the door had shut behind her. “Anything you need. Whatever it is. I don’t care what time it is. I don’t care what it is or where you are or how bad it is, or what you think I’m gonna think. You call me, and I’ll get you what you need. No judgment. I’ll make sure you have whatever you need. As long as it’s not booze or drugs. Or anything that’s gonna make Maggie kick me in theballs.”
I would’ve laughed at that, but I wasn’t in the laughing mood. “Thank you,” I forcedout.
“I mean it. The tour doesn’t go on without you. That’s not pressure, Zane, that’s fucking reality. We went on without Seth for years. We all felt the loss, but we went on. And it sucks, but we’re doing a whole tour without Elle. We could go on without Jesse or Dylan, have someone fill in for them for a while. Wouldn’t be the same, but we’d make it work. But we can’t do it without you. We’re never gonna do it without you. You’re our frontman, and it doesn’t work without you, without your voice. Everyone in the band knows that. We’ve already discussedit.”
What?When?
He held up his hand to silence me, like he knew what I was gonna ask. “We already talked about it, years ago, when you went into rehab. The show doesn’t go on without you. Dirty isn’t Dirty without Zane Traynor, and we all know it. You need this tour to stop, you need everything to stop, then itstops.”
I just nodded. I couldn’t get any more words out. I moved toward him and he pulled me in for another hug. He hugged me for a while, and when he let me go he said, “Proud of you,brother.”
I headed for the door before I started crying like a baby. I was fucking exhausted. Emotionally tappedout.
“And this Maggie thing,” he said behind me, all the softness leaving his voice. I paused and glanced back at him. “We’ll talk about that later,yeah?”
“Yeah,” Isaid.
Then I went to my room to try to get some sleep, because I had a show to do tonight. My band was counting on me, and fuck if I was gonna let Dirty suffer because ofme.
Chapter Fourteen
Maggie
The next day,I woke up late. I hadn’t even fallen asleep until well after dawn, again. I’d been up all night after the Vegas show, unable to sleep, but I still hadn’t fully processed everything that hadhappened.
Everything I’d donewrong.
All I knew was I’d hurt Zane in a profoundway.
I’d spoken briefly with Alec and Brody before the show yesterday, but mercifully no one brought up my marriage to Zane or the whole ugly incident the other night. Brody wasn’t going to let it go; I knew he wasn’t. But for the time being, he looked like he felt too sorry for me to sayanything.
It was early afternoon when I climbed onto the Lady Bus. Most of the buses had already hit the road to Salt Lake City, but some of us took our time rallying out of Vegas. Luckily there was no big hurry, and no one wascomplaining.
As I quickly discovered, the news about the little drama the other night had spread—especially after last night’s show, when Jude’s crew cleared out all the booze backstage and security was extra tight—and everyone wasconcerned.
The girls on the Lady Bus all seemed relieved that Zane had resurfaced from the desert sober and unscathed, but they knew this was serious; they were all waiting for me in thelounge.
Talia gave me a hug. “Is he okay?” she asked me. Joanie and Sophie were waiting for the answer to that question,too.
We’d all witnessed his performance at last night’s show. He was great; his voice sounded great. But he was definitely tense. There was a ton of tension at the show, and no one was exactly smilingbackstage.
The whole crew feltit.
Zane’s alcohol addiction was no secret to anyone on Dirty’s crew, and obviously everyone cared about his continued sobriety. They either cared because they truly cared about Zane, and/or because they were scared they’d be out a job if the tour fellapart.
“Yeah,” I said. “He’s okay. But there are gonna be some changes. We’re having a band meeting tonight, and I’ll have some things to go over withyou.”
“Of course,” Talia said. “Anything I can do tohelp…”
“Let me know if I can help, too,” Joanie offered. “I honestly don’t know how Zane does it, being around booze all the time, and the rest of the band drinking. Seth, too. If there’s anything we can do to make it a more supportive environment for both of them, I’d be happy to help any way I can. I know Elle will,too.”
