I wanted to be hiseverything.
Was that so fuckingwrong?
As Jessa and I made our way through Zane’s house, which was dark and mostly empty of people, to the covered, heated patio out back where everyone had converged around the bar, the pool and the various seating areas, I looked for Jude. But he definitely wasn’there.
We found Zane by the bar, and even though Jessa had told meNo presents, I handed him the bottle of my famous home brew: blackberry vodka, which I bottled every summer during blackberry season and was just ready in time for theholidays.
I knew Zane didn’t drink, but I never hit a holiday party without a bottle of my home brew in-hand. People asked me about it year-round; it was thatgood.
“For your guests,” I toldhim.
“Thanks, Roni,” he said, giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then his ice-blue eyes drifted down my curves. “And, whoa. Hotdress.”
It was a hot dress. It was one of Jessa’s; one of the ones I liked to call her supermodel dresses, the ones that hung in the back of her closet but she rarely actually wore, and since she couldn’t fit into them right now anyway, had offered me my pick of for the holidays. It was short and black with a subtle sparkle and fit me like a sexy glove. Cleavage, leg… this dress had itall.
“Don’tflirt withher.”
Zane’s pierced eyebrow rose as Jessa hooked her arm through mine, yanking meaway.
“Okay… What was thatabout?”
“Nothing,” she said. “I’m just pissed at him rightnow.”
“Why?”
“I really can’t tell you. Let’s just say… the way Zane Traynor treats women is fuckingasinine.”
“Um, we’ve known thatforever.”
“True,” she said. “Andwhydid you sleep with himagain?”
I gave an exasperated sigh. “Because I was twenty-one and he was super hot.”And I was super fucking pissed at Jude for making out with some chick right in front of me.But I kept that part tomyself.
We found Brody by the pool; he’d come early, so Bishop had driven us. When he saw Jessa and his son, he lit up like a Christmas tree and pulled them into his arms. I waited while they snuggled and kissed and cooed over their baby together. Then Brody seemed to notice me and cleared histhroat.
“Hey,Roni.”
“Hey, Brody. MerryChristmas.”
“Everything’s set for the New Year’s Eve show,yeah?”
“Seems thatway.”
He knew it was. I was pretty sure he was semi-shocked that I’d pulled the whole thing off. I could’ve given him a laundry list of all the details I’d taken care of since we last spoke if he really wanted one, but I’d learned years ago that talking about business at a Dirty party wasn’t really done. Which meant that any second now, someone would cut us off by handing us drinks and changing thesubject.
Sure enough, before I could offer another word, Jesse appeared with champagne for me and a sparkling juice for hissister.
I thanked him for the bubbly, gave him a distracted kiss on the cheek—he probably knew where Jude was, and if he was coming, right?—and slipped away to do the rounds a bit. Wished people happy holidays and allthat.
Pretty much most of the usual crew were here. It was a great group of people, really, one I’d enjoyed becoming more and more a part of this last year, since Jessa came backhome.
It made me sad, actually, to think that if all the shit between Jude and me just didn’t work out, I might not really see these people again. If things weren’t good between us, I didn’t think I could handle coming to these parties or even going to a Dirty show and risking running into him… or not running intohim.
At the far end of the patio, Amber had a photo booth all set up, and Shady, Zane’s bodyguard and a King I’d known for years, was dressed up like Santa. I was watching Amber take photos of people sitting on his lap when I heard a familiar voice behindme.
“Dylan Cope! Santa’s knee,now.”
Next thing I knew, Ash brushed past me. He and Dylan converged on Santa, each of them taking a knee. Dylan in red leather pants and the fugliest Christmas sweater of all time, in which he somehow still looked hot (the fashion at this thing went from “red carpet” to “holiday trash”), and Ash wearing nothing at all Christmasy other than a black T-shirt that said in big white lettersI Saw Mama Screwing SantaClaus.
