No.
Fucking sadly…No.
I fucked her until we were both soaked in sweat. Then I flipped her back over so I could see her face while I fucked her. So I could see her face when Icame.
She came again when I did, her green eyes locked onmine.
Afterwards, as I got dressed, she sat on the edge of the bed in her robe. “What is this?” She didn’t even sound hopeful or expectant or anything other thansad.
“Closure,” I said. I pulled on my leather jacket and stared at her. I was still breathing hard. The condom had barely hit the wastebasket under her desk and I had my clothes back on. I waited for her eyes to meetmine.
They did, and she nodded, just barely. “Okay.”
I left her there, and I didn’t lookback.
As I rode home that day, I knew I wouldn’t see her again. I knew the next time I saw her at a party, I’d have to walk the other way. I’d have to lose her number, which was still in my fuckingphone.
I could not let myself stay hung the fuck up on Roni Webber for the rest of mylife.
Because every time I looked at her, I’d just see all that shit I didn’t want tosee.
It wasn’t that she’d betrayedme.
I’d betrayedmyself.
I’d broken a promise I’d made to myself, so many years ago, when I knew shit-all about women. When I was thirteen and started getting hard-ons for the girls at my dad’s club, and I saw how they bounced from lap tolap.
When I saw how they bounced into my brother’slap.
All I knew was I was never giving my heart to one of those girls. To any girl who was with one of my brothersfirst.
And Roni Webber had now been with fuckingthree.
Piper.
Ben.
Zane.
That I knewof…
And I was all fucked up overit.
I was pissed that she’d slept with Zane. I was jealous that she’d datedBen.
I was still sore that she’d fuckedPiper.
I truly fucking wished she hadn’t… because I truly fucking wished things could’ve been different betweenus.
Theycouldn’t.
I knew my reasons for pushing her away were bullshit, in away.
But they were also a matter of motherfuckingpride.
It was the way I was brought up, in my dad’s club. I wouldn’t even dare go to him with this, ask his advice. If I told him I was all fucked up over a girl Piper had fucked-and-dumped years ago, a girl my brother had already deemed a slut, he’d smack me upside thehead.
It was the way thingswere.
