Or he just didn’t give that much of a fuck about me? Enough to put his dick in me almost every night, but not enough to be seen with me inpublic.
I couldn’t even stand to voice the former, so I said, “Then I guess I’m just not someone you’d want them to see youwith.”
He stared at me, his dark gaze weighing heavily on me. “We agreed, V, that this was just aboutsex.”
“Yeah,” I said bitterly. “Weagreed.”
Yes, I was being stubborn and guarded andridiculous.
So washe.
Hewas being stubborn and guarded and oh-so-Jude—reminding me way too much of twenty-one-year-old Jude. The Jude who hurt me.Badly.
And it terrifiedme.
“So that it?” he asked. “You changin’ yourmind?”
“Yeah. Maybe Iam.”
I knew I was pushing him away. But I just couldn’t stopmyself.
He stared at me for the longest minute inhistory.
Neither of us said anotherthing.
I watched as he turned and walked out, slamming the door behindhimself.
Then I sank onto my couch and just sat there, kind ofnumb.
I knew why I was acting jealous andcrazy.
Because I’d gone ahead and fallen for himagain.
It really didn’t takemuch.
Or maybe the truth was I’d just never picked myself back up after the first time Ifell.
Because Jude Grayson was theone.
He was my man; the one I’d wanted forever and aday.
And I still didn’t know if he could ever feel the same aboutme.
Chapter Eighteen
Jude
Saturday.
11:00 pm orwhatever.
I sat at the bar at the clubhouse, nursing a beer that went warm long ago. Piper sat next to me, talking shit about whatever. Some girl whose name I couldn’t remember sat in hislap.
A friend of hers had tried to slither into mine, but I wasn’t having it. She had black hair and was pretty enough, but everything about her screamedfake, including her blackhair.
Other than a few of the wives, most of the women who came through these doors seemed fake tome.
I wasn’t totally above it. It wasn’t like I’d never fucked around with anyone at the clubhouse. But it had been a long while, and with Roni on my mind, it wasn’thappening.
