But hindsight was twenty-twenty, and when it came to Jessa Mayes, I’d always been so fuckingblind.
ChapterFifteen
Jessa
Roni had goneout for the night with some dude or another she was sleeping with, so I put onDead Crazy, Dirty’s second album, cranked it up, and made myself some dinner. I’d had a mild hangover the last three mornings in a row, thanks to the concerted efforts of Katie and Maggie to drag me back out into the land of the living, and while I’d appreciated their efforts, I really needed a booze-freenightin.
I was dancing around in the kitchen in my woolen knee socks, worn old Brody T-shirt and panties, making my patented low-fat zucchini-and-eggplant lasagna—which tasted a lot better than it sounded—when Roni walked in, scaring the shit outofme.
With a couple ofdudes.
Biker dudes, on second glance. Big, serious bikers, wearing the telltale leather vests; vests with patches on the chest that saidSinnersMC.
The scary, shaved-headed one was looking me over, slowly, his eyes lingering on my panties. The blond one was grinning ear-to-ear.
“Uh… hi,” I choked out, trying to discreetly cover myself with a tea towel. “I thought you said you were gone for thenight.”
Roni grinned, cocking an eyebrow at my outfit. “Couldn’t leave you all alone, nowcouldI?”
Guessnot.
After I’d put on some pants, I ended up sharing my veggie lasagna with them, sort of; Roni’s “friends” opted to snort some lines and didn’t seem to have an appetite for much else. I politely declined when they offered to share, as did Roni, though I got the distinct feeling she was doing so for my benefit—that if I wasn’t here, they would’ve been snorting the coke off her boobs while they fucked her on thebreakfastbar.
Since I had no interest in witnessing or taking part in such activities, I figured I should probably make myself scarce—like before they got impatient with me cockblocking them. The party had moved into the living room, but I was cleaning up and more or less hiding in the kitchen when Roniwalkedin.
“You wanna hook up or what?” she asked, sashaying over to me and grabbing my hips, dancing with me. “Usually I’d just go ahead and enjoy them both myself, but for you, to get you out of this rut you’re in… I’m willing toshare.”
“That’s what I love about you, Roni,” I said. “Yourgenerosity.”
“Come on, it’ll be fun. Like oldtimes.”
“In what old times did we tag-team a couple of bikers? Because if we did, I sure as hell don’trememberit.”
She huffed and pulled away from me, heading to the fridge for more beers. “You’re so unimaginative. What are you saving yourself for anyway?” She slammed the fridge door shut. “Let me guess. Brody.” She rolledhereyes.
“It’s notlikethat.”
“The hell it isn’t. At least be honest with yourself while you’re pining away. Which one of you are you trying to bullshitanyway?”
I didn’tanswerthat.
“I’ve seen the way you lick him with your eyes. It is solikethat.”
Maybe it was. But if I’d never talked to anyone else about it—and I hadn’t—I wasn’t about to talktoRoni.
“Even if it was,” I said lightly, busying myself wiping down the counter, “I don’t think he wants to go down that road with me,youknow?”
“Oh, Jessa,” she said. “All roads lead tofucking.”
She walked past, beers in hand, and flashed me a parting smile. “Door’s always open if you changeyourmind.”
* * *
Iendedup in my room and put some music on, just in case the festivities down the hall got loud. I locked the door and wedged a chair against it for good measure, in case either of Roni’s guests decided to get “lost” on his way to thebathroom.
Then I flopped on the bed and thought about whatRoni’dsaid.
Which one of you are you trying to bullshitanyway?
