Okay, maybe not dead? I really couldn’t tell how far it was down there, or what lay below. For all I knew it could be three feet to a bed of soft moss. But there were snarls of branches poking up out of the black, and I definitely wouldn’t have escapedunscathed.
At the very least, he’d saved me from scrapes, bruises andembarrassment.
Atworst…
I swallowed again, peering up into his eyes. They were in shadow, but I could just make out the dark pools of his irises as he looked back at me. His breathing wasn’t right; it was quick and shallow, like mine. I watched in a daze as his full lips parted. He drew a deep breath, his chest rising against mine. I thought he was going to saysomething…
Hedidn’t.
He didn’t let go of me, either. His fingers curled, digging into mywaist.
And a voice in my head said,Justkisshim.
It came out of nowhere. Well… maybe it came on the wings of those last few Jell-O shots I’d done with the girls.Just tell him you’re sorry,itsaid.
Just tell him youmisshim.
Tell him…everything.
But I didn’t do any of thosethings.
“Thanks,” I managed to whisper, my voicehoarse.
Brody said nothing. His mouth shut and his eyebrows furled. He still looked pissed, but there was something else in the shadows of his eyes.Concern?
Like maybe he would’ve cared if I’d just plummeted to mydeath?
So that wassomething.
Tell him youlovehim.
I opened my mouth, unsure of what would come out—but then he released me. He stepped back, shoving his hands in his pockets, as if to assure me—or himself—he wouldn’t touch meagain.
“Use the fucking handrail,” he said gruffly, nodding toward the rail on the other side of the boardwalk, where the twinkly lights werestrung.
“Right.”
Then he turned andwalkedaway.
I hugged myself, moving over toward the rail, still unnerved by my near-tumble into the dark… and even more unnerved by the feel of Brody’s hard bodyagainstmine.
After a few steps, he stopped. He shook his head once, then suddenly turned back. “I owe you an apology,” he said, not looking atmyface.
“Youdo?”
“Yeah. You know, for kidnapping you. And generally being an asshole.” He glanced at me briefly, then added, “I’m just looking out for Jesse,” like that madeitokay.
Maybeitdid.
I knew the depth of friendship he had with my brother, the kind of friendship that had endured many years and many ups and downs; the kind of friendship I’d never really had with anyone, because I’d always been so afraid to let anyone getclose.
I just stood there, hugging myself against the breeze coming up off the water, andbreathed, “Okay.”
Brody nodded shortly, then walked away. I opened my mouth to say something else, anything, but he was gone. He went back up to the party, leaving me standing there alone in the dark with his words… the music throbbing through the night echoing the throb of myheart.
I’m just looking out forJesse.
I clung to the railing, grateful for the support. It was stunning how deeply it cut me to hear those words, to know that Brody was no longer looking out forme… even though I was the one who’d made itthatway.
