He wasright.
We neverreallydid.
“You didn’t know me without the booze until I sobered my ass up almost seven years ago now,” Zane put in, “and that turned out prettyfuckingfine.”
“Actually,” Jesse said, considering Zane with a sidelong glance, “kinda liked you better when you were adrunk.”
In response, Zane walked over, punched Jesse in the gut, hauled him off his stool, and a brawl broke out, the kind where they laughed as much as they beat the shit out of each other, and maybe a few things got broken alongtheway.
Fuckingteenagers.
At that point, I left it up to Jude to referee. I had Jessa waitingforme.
Meetingadjourned.
* * *
It wasfive days later that I came home to Jessa withthenews.
“We’ve asked Seth to come back to the band,” I told her, standing in the bathroom off my bedroom, watching her brush her hair. She was getting ready to go to bed, with me, and I couldn’t get enough of her like that. In her panties and my old T-shirt, in my home. I just leaned against the door frame and watched her, drinking it in. “They’ve asked him to play on the album. Go on tour, if that works out. The full deal.” I watched her face reflected in the mirror, gauging her reaction. “Hesaidyes.”
She stopped brushing and laid her hairbrush carefully on the counter. Her eyes met mine in the mirror. “Of coursehedid.”
“You’re nothappy?”
She turned to me and shrugged. “I have no right nottobe.”
“That’s not what Iasked.”
I went over to her and slid my hands around her waist, meaning to hold her close, so we could talk without her trying to run away. But she pulled me to her and started kissingme,deep.
Next thing I knew she was steering me toward the bed, and then my clothes were off and she was on top of me, forcing herself onto my cock so fast it almost hurt. I grabbed her hips and held her still so I could get the angle right; then I drove into her. She tumbled, taking me with her, pulling me on top, and I got totally lost in fucking her, in her ragged, desperatecries.
Harder,Brody…
Fuck meharder…
I came when she did, hard. There was no stopping it. She fucked that orgasm right out of me, rubbing herself on me even after I was spent, like she couldn’t getenough.
Panting, I eased off her. I looked at her, lying there in my shirt, limp on the bed, staring at the ceiling in a haze, her shredded panties halfway down one thigh. One of us had ripped them getting them off. I wasn’t evensurewho.
“What the fuck was that about?” I asked her, still panting. “Because it sure as fuck wasn’t about youandme.”
She drew away, curling into a little ball on her side. “What doesthatmean?”
“It means I’d like to know whether we’re fighting or fucking or falling apart. With you, I never know. It’s kinda one inthesame.”
“It’s not,” sheprotested.
“You use sex as a weapon, Jessa. You use it as a wall, you use it as a shield, you use it as a goddamnknife.”
“That’snottrue.”
“No? Then why don’t you try telling me, for once, what’s really going on in your head? Because you never tell me shit. You just fuck me to turn my attention where you want it. Just like when we were kids and you’d do shit to get my attention, yeah? Good attention, bad attention, it didn’t matter. Always mouthing off, arguing, running away and expecting me to give chase. Well, you have myattention,okay?”
“Fuck you,” she said weakly, and rolled further away, lookingcrushed.
“Talk to me,” I said, softening my voice. “You really don’t have to fuck me to get me tolisten.”
