I could probably learn a thing or two from this woman. Though I kinda doubted she’d be letting me in on the secrets behind her steel-gray eyes anytime soon.
I didn’t want to outwear my tenuous welcome, so it was probably time I get a move on. Before I did, I excused myself to use the guest washroom, where I checked my phone, which had buzzed while I was eating my corn bread.
It was Jesse.
What r u doing?
Clearly, he’d heard from Flynn.
I’d texted Jesse to let him know I was in L.A., but not why I was here. Other than that, I hadn’t been in communication with him, since it was harder to obsess over everything I’d done wrong and what I was going to do to make it right when I was obsessing over what I should say in reply to his texts. I couldn’t even think about getting him on the phone. But it seemed unfair to leave him hanging in this instance.
Eating corn bread, I replied. Then I added,In Elle’s kitchen.
I waited, a good four minutes, for his response. During that time, I pictured him pacing, running his hands through his thick, dark hair, maybe rubbing the back of his neck, eyebrows drawn together in thought. I so missed him. Brooding and all.
My phone buzzed.
When r u flying home?
Tomorrow, I think,I texted.If your ex-girlfriend lets me out of here alive.And then, just in case that joke didn’t land, I added a winky face.
What r u doing, Katie?
I answered,Just something I need to do.
Then do it and come home to me.
God.
The man had me reeling.
Those were not the words of a man who didn’t care. I was pretty sure of that.
See you when you get there, I texted. Because I’d probably reach Vancouver before he did.
When I emerged from the bathroom, Elle was waiting in the kitchen. “I should get going,” I said, and as she walked me to her front door, Jesse’s words repeated in my head.
... come home to me.
Words that made me feel warm, and nervous at the same time. Because Jessa’s words were in there too.
I’m not coming home.
I turned to Elle, determined to make the most of this moment and not fuck it up. Because who knew if I would ever get another?
I didn’t exactly expect another dinner invite anytime soon. It was fair to say that Jesse’s ex and I were never going to be BFFs.
But that didn’t mean we couldn’t be civil.
“Look,” I said to her. “I know you’re a celebrity and all the attention, good and bad, is part of the deal. I mean, so they tell me. I’m just figuring it out myself. I can’t possibly know what it’s like to be you. But I do know what it’s like to be left, and I know how it feels when it happens in public, and how hard it is to process when everyone’s watching and saying cruel things that aren’t even true. I know I didn’t replace you overnight, no matter what they say. I know that you’re family to Jesse, and that means he loves you. Other than that, I don’t believe a thing they say. Unless I hear it from you. And whatever they say about us, about me, I hope you won’t believe it either.”
“Okay,” she said. And that was all.
She opened the door and I hovered on the threshold. I smiled a little, but she didn’t. I just hoped I hadn’t made things worse by coming here, but just like after my dinner with Jessa, I wasn’t sure.
“I know it’s over between Jesse and me, Katie,” she said, her steel eyes on mine. “But the heart needs time to heal. You know him. I’m sure you can imagine the kind of time that might take.”
Um, yeah. I could imagine.
