“What was that? Nia knows she’s still my baby. Ain’t that right, Cyren?”
Grinning, Cyren shrugged. “Mhm. Sure.”
“Aww, man. Not you hating on us, too. We gon’ get back together one day. I can feel it.”
Big Dre and Nia used to be married way back when, but both of them cheated. Not with another person but with theirprofessions. Nia was a workaholic, chasing after her dreams, while Big Dre ran the streets. Like father, like son, he didn’t want to leave them either. And Nia wasn’t okay with putting her aspirations aside.
They were two hustlers, in two different worlds, trying to create a life that didn’t fit either of their standards. Marriage sounded good, but all things that sound good weren’t beneficial. Big Dre still came through for her in any way she needed, and Nia did the same, even caring for and treating Boobie like she was her child. In the end, they did create a life that meant the world to them.
“What’s the flavor of the second cake?” one of the cousins asked as Boobie brought out the other one.
“They bought him two cakes?” Cyren asked Heavy, whose side she hadn’t left.
He swallowed hard, waiting for her to catch on. With her phone out, ready to record and sing, Cyrenreallylooked at the second cake. It was small enough to fit in one of Boobie’s hands but intentional in a way that made Cyren’s chest tighten before her mind could fully process why. It wasn’t as extravagant as Dre’s two-tier red-and-black one, but it was still nice.
Whipped white frosting wrapped around the cake with pale pink piping along the edges. Fresh strawberries and white chocolate curls sat on top, surrounding the words written in elegant cursive.
Happy Birthday, Nicole!
Cyren’s smile fell before she could stop it.
She looked up at Heavy so fast, her vision blurred. He avoided her stare for a second, not ready to face the emotions building in her eyes.
“Since you couldn’t get her one,” he offered.
Everything around her kept moving. People were still laughing, talking over one another, trying to organizethemselves enough to sing or give a speech, but their voices started sounding distant and muffled.
Her eyes locked on the cake as Boobie carefully slid it beside Dre’s. Cyren blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears from falling. She refused to break down in front of all these people. She’d spent the entire evening, laughing harder than she had in months, feeling lighter than she had in weeks, and forgetting what this time of year usually did to her.
Grief had a way of reminding people it was still there.
That bitch was always waiting, even in the midst of good times.
Cyren’s bottom lip trembled despite her efforts to steady it, and she quickly looked down at her phone screen, pretending she was fixing the camera. Heavy’s hand found the small of her back before her body could betray her, completely. It was subtle and almost grounding, but not enough to stop the emotions climbing up her throat.
They siphoned through her so quickly, Cyren wasn’t sure what hit her. This was a different kind of pain. It was mixed with appreciativeness, yet layered with drapes of sadness because she wished she didn’t havethismoment to be thankful for.
“I know today ain’t easy for you either,” he quietly said near her ear so only she could hear him. “Just thought she deserved to be celebrated, too.”
His words almost made her lose it. Heavy studied her profile, watching her fight tears she clearly didn’t want anyone to see. Making her cry wasn’t his intention.
Cyren sniffled, clearing her throat. “That was really thoughtful of you. Thank you.”
Her words were so hushed, quieter than they’d been all night. A tear slipped before she could catch it, forcing her to turn her head and quickly wipe it away. These weren’t the angry tears she cried earlier in the day while screaming into her pillow.They came from being reminded that her mama mattered to people outside of her grief. Nicole was still loved. She was being remembered in a room full of people, being honored rather than mourned.
“Before we light the candles and sing happy birthday, I just wanna thank everybody for pulling up last minute for my boy.” Big Dre’s eyes found Cyren’s. “And for Nicole. The irony of them sharing a birthday and both being gone is hard as fuck to accept, but we gon’ keep their names alive.”
“Hell yeah!” Boobie cheered. “Happy birthday to my mothafucking brother and auntie. On the count of three. One...two...three.”
The room erupted into song, but Cyren could barely hear it over the pounding in her chest. The lyrics, original and the Stevie Wonder version, floated around her in fragments as everyone sang. Some of them were singing entirely too loudly and off-key. Boobie was crying while trying to laugh through it. One of Dre’s cousins kept clapping off rhythm, somebody in the back was recording with their flash on like they were at a concert, and a little boy with two braids to the back almost stuck his finger in Dre’s cake.
It should’ve felt normal. Like all the other birthday parties she had attended. But Cyren stood frozen beside Heavy, staring at the two cakes sitting next to each other like her mind couldn’t fully process what was happening. Dre’s loud, flashy two-tier cake looked exactly like something he would’ve requested. Nicole’s was softer, and surprisingly one she would’ve loved.
Cyren’s vision blurred again. She blinked quickly and lifted her phone, forcing her trembling hand to steady long enough to record the moment. If she didn’t, she knew she’d regret it later. The screen captured smiling faces, candlelight flickering, and voices filling the room as they sang both of their names.
The reality of that cracked something open inside her.
My mama is really gone.
