“I feel much better,” she said, and stood.
Stretching, she grabbed her yoga mat and commenced with her morning routine. By the time she was done, showered, and in her kitchen making breakfast, Najee was still on her mind. Not keeping up with him was the safest way to keep her mind at ease, or so she thought. Chewing a boiled egg sprinkled with Lawry’s total seasoning and cayenne pepper, she scrolled through her text messages. Stopping at Saleem’s name, Orielle sighed. She hadn’t talked to him much either.
Guilt had a way of making you ghost the people who reminded you of the worst parts of yourself.
Orielle knew that to be true. She witnessed it with her own eyes and lived it. Was she ashamed of her behavior? No. It took courage to identify who you no longer wanted to be. So much had held her back in life, mainly herself, and Orielle vowed to no longer live that way. Walking in her own shadows of doubt and regret had no place in her life.
Her thumb hovered over Saleem’s number. She knew he was up. He was an early riser just like her. Before she could tap the call icon, an incoming call from Cheyla came through. Smiling, Orielle answered.
“Hello.”
“Good morning, sunshine,” Cheyla greeted.
Orielle chuckled. “Good morning to you, too. You’re in a good mood.”
“As I should be. I just got the best dick of my life this morning. I feel like I can run a marathon.”
“Wait,” Orielle said, laughing. “You let him spend the night after all that shit you were talking?”
Cheyla sighed so dramatically. “No. I stayed the night at his place. I’m still here.”
“That man left you in his house?” Orielle couldn’t believe it.
After the way she’d cursed him out and told him to stop calling her phone, Orielle was sure he was going to cut her off.
“You sound so surprised.” Cheyla laughed.
“Because I am. Y’all are funny.”
“Or in love. Either way, I’m snuggled under the covers until I have to go to work. What’re you up doing?”
Washing her hands, Orielle dried them and tossed the paper towel in the trash. “Just finished eating breakfast and probably about to take a nap.”
“You’ve been up thinking again.”
“Thinking and working. Thank you very much,” Orielle said, maneuvering to her living room.
Her open floor plan gave her the perfect view of downtown Kansas City. Some nights, she’d sit out on her balcony and just thank God. Life hadn’t been easy, but she’d made it this far. The simple things, like enjoying the decorated night sky in a place she could call her own, was priceless.
“What were you up thinking about?” Cheyla asked. “Talk to big mama.”
Grinning softly, Orielle stared out at the morning traffic. “Najee.”
“Really? Where’d he pop up from?”
“My dreams. I woke up much earlier than my alarm and then realized what today was once I looked at my calendar. It’s been a year today since all of that went down at your place.”
Cheyla exhaled on the other end. “Damn. It’s really been that long? It feels like yesterday.”
“Right.”
The silence settled between them for a beat. Both were lost in what had occurred back then. So much had changed, but some things were still the same.
“You know what happened wasn’t your fault, right?”
Orielle understood that now, but she struggled on some days to come to terms with that. Najee had lost his freedom for protecting her.
“Yeah, but I still feel bad, you know? That man went to jail because of my drama,” Orielle said.
