“I need to fight them,” I say. “It has to be me.”
His jaw tightens. His finger is still under my chin and he doesn’t move it.
“No,” he says. Just that.
“Cassian—“
“No.” He says it again, quieter this time, which is worse.
I reach up and take his hand from my chin. I don’t let go of it.
“I want to tell you something. That’s why I brought us here,” I say slowly. “I know we didn’t start well. You three were a complete nightmare, honestly.” I smile, turning to Talon and Nathaniel. None of them smiles back. “But being with you was the happiest I’ve ever been. In my entire existence.”
“Stop.” Talon’s voice comes out rough. “Why are you talking like this?”
“You know why.” I guide Cassian’s hand gently down. “Once I do this, I die.”
“Then don’t do it!”
“I want to say goodbye.”
Cassian makes a sound I’ve never heard from him. Like something in him just gave way.
“How about you let me die in your place?” he says. “Tell me how and I’ll do it instead. Just tell me how.”
Behind him, Nathaniel takes a half-step forward. Talon puts a hand on his arm. Nathaniel looks like staying still might break something in him. But he stays.
I’ve never been loved like this. I didn’t know such love existed before them.
“You became everything,” I say. “I don’t care if it’s the wrong time to say it. All three of you became the whole thing for me.” My voice doesn’t shake. I don’t let it. “I hope we find each other again. In a better world than this one.”
Somewhere behind me, a roar splits the air. It rolls across the hillside and keeps going, swallowed by the fog below, and I feel it in my teeth.
My time is up.
“I love you,” I breathe, and I drop Cassian’s hand and take a step back. Just one. “You’ve got this. The three of you. You will be fine.”
Cassian’s face does something terrible. He opens his mouth and nothing comes out.
“Skye—“ Talon starts.
“You will,” I say. “I know you will.”
“Skye!” Nathaniel lunges forward. Talon’s not there to stop him this time, and he throws his whole body toward me as if moving fast enough could change what’s already been decided.
He would.
I know it in the same way I know my own name.
He’d follow me into the ether. He’d walk into nothing without a second thought.
All of them would.
And I would do the same for them. I am doing the same for them.
That’s the whole point.
So I don’t allow myself any hesitation. I don’t let myself look at their faces again. I blink away before any of them can reach me.
