“Yeah, but without the assurance that there’s that one person out there for everyone. Some shifters may go their whole lives without forming a mating bond but go on to have healthy relationships, and some may form several mating bonds before they die.”
Erica wasn’t sure what was greater: the panic that they were somehow connected through this bond thing, or that it could be broken just as easily as it was formed. “So, shifters don’t mate for life like wolves?”
Dominic kept his eyes ahead as he led them through the park at a steady, but meandering pace. “They are capable of it, and most do. But the mating bond can be severed, is what I mean. They don’t have to be permanent.”
Her lungs seized a bit. “Is that what my parents did?”
“Probably.” By the tenderness of his tone, Dominic must have known to tread lightly into this sensitive topic. “It would have been absolute torture for them otherwise. Being apart from one’s mate is like missing a part of oneself. It’s not so easy to sever the bond, from what I’ve been told. It takes real conscious effort on both sides. Both have to want to disconnect, but they’re never the same afterward. A part of them always stays with the other.”
That didn’t give her any solace, only further context for her parents’ tragic end.
“Through the bond, I can feel what you feel. I know, right now, you’re scared and broken. After you had the talk with Cole, I knew nothing was right with you. I came as soon as I could because I knew you needed me.”
Erica closed her eyes and once more stopped on the path. Dominic didn’t let go of her hand, but turned to face her, patient and waiting.
“So we’re… we’re mated?”
“Yes. From the moment we kissed that night in your kitchen.”
That explained so much. It explained the feeling of being pulled out of herself like a taut rubber band, why she fell so hard and fast without even realizing that she had, why she loved him without having a solid reason, why she was so willing to believe he was a werewolf without real confirmation. She just did. It was like breathing, as natural as everything that grew around them.
She couldn’t blame it solely on him either. He said the mating bond could only be formed if the feelings were mutual. Had she loved him when they first kissed, without even realizing it? Thinking hard, she knew she had. She’d loved him all along and that scared the shit out of her.
“What about that thing that happened at the house, when you were holding me? I felt… It was like that day at the festival when you came up to my table and helped Madison. Just this wash of… total peace. Like a warm hug on the inside. I know it sounds corny, but I don’t know how else to describe it. You used that to help Madison calm down, and you did the same with me. So, that’s not the mating bond, right?”
“That’s not the mating bond. That was something every wolf shifter possesses. We call it dominance.” He jerked his headtoward the path and Erica found herself walking again, this time a little more slowly.
“Part of dominance,” Dominic continued, “is like intimidation. I use it on other shifters to make them obey. The other part of dominance, in a traditional setting, is used to calm down someone if they’ve gone feral.”
“Kind of like how I was.”
Dominic squeezed her hand. “Kind of. I used dominance on Madison to help her get a hold on her senses again. I used it on you to help calm your nervous system. It helps in any situation where one is completely out of control or unable to regulate their own emotions. Through the mating bond, I can feel what you feel, but it doesn’t explain why you’re feeling a certain way. I’ll know you’re sad, but it’s up to you to tell me why.”
Silence settled between them, and she knew it was her turn to share. Though, how could she possibly order her thoughts after being told that she was spiritually tied to Dominic? What could beat that? How would that shape their future? Would they have to tear themselves apart the way that her parents did?
“It just feels like everything I’ve ever known is… is just… not quite a lie. It still happened. My mom and I still struggled, but it could have been avoided all this time. I could have had a family. I might have had brothers or sisters. We wouldn’t have had to live off of food stamps for those first few years.”
“But those struggles made you who you are today.”
Erica huffed. “Yeah, a little stubborn nutcase who needs a straitjacket.”
Dominic chuckled. “No. You’re a strong-willed, independent woman and that’s what I admire about you.”
His compliment made her stomach flutter in a happy way.
“It just feels like my whole foundation is shifting out from underneath me, and I can’t get my footing. I always worshiped my mom for being so brave, but now… I almost want to resenther for what she put us through. It could have been so much easier.”
Dominic donned a thoughtful look. “Well, look at it this way. Would it have been easier to hear them argue? Would it have been easier to see your dad leave in the middle of the night? What about being put second to his pack? How would that have made you feel?”
Before she could stop herself, she said, “Probably how I’ll feel in a few months after being with you.”
That was low, and she knew it. That’s why she slipped her hand from his grasp to punish herself for such a remark. Dominic only stepped in front of her and blocked her path. For a minute, she wondered if they’d have their first big fight.
He didn’t argue. He didn’t snap back with a retort like she expected. Instead, he looked down at her, blue eyes pleading for some explanation for why she would say such a hurtful thing.
Erica lowered her gaze to the stretch of dirt between their feet. “You’re right… I suppose growing up the way I did might have been no better than growing up with parents who couldn’t get along… It doesn’t make me feel any less like an orphan right now.”
Dominic reached out and took her arms in such a gentle hold that she knew he wasn’t hurt by what she’d said anymore. He only cared for her. Damn it, why did he have to be so great? For just one moment, she wanted him to be something other than perfect.
