Chapter Twelve
***Savanah***
After the night Savanah had spent at Kyllian’s father’s house, she felt like going to vent was an absolute necessity and there was only one person she trusted enough to go discuss it with: Lolita. Savanah sighed as she approached Lolita’s place and shook the feeling of nervousness washing over her away, “Chill out, Savanah. There’s no need to get all worked up,” she told herself. The fear of pushing her emotions too far and causing a relapse of the night before still held strongly to her, but she knew that defeating her problem was going to require focusing her mind. Like the saying went: if you didn’t mind, then it didn’t matter, and Savanah needed to keep that mental focus in order to avoid another situation from arising. She walked into Lolita’s room and sat down at the table. Lolita was sitting there with a book in hand and dropped it on the table once Savanah appeared.
“Hey, where the hell have you been?” she asked, a clear worried expression overtaking her face.
“Around, here and there,” Savanah said, not quite ready to open the can of worms about her very eventful night.
“Yeah, that’s vague as ever,” Lolita said, narrowing her eyes, “Seriously, something is up, and I can tell from your demeanor. Spill the beans,” she added. This was the one thing Savanah loved the most about Lolita. Everything they had ever been through together had made them an incredibly strong duo. Where Lolita fell short, Savanah had always leaned up to hold her in place, and when the same thing happened with Savanah, Lolita had always been a strong rock of a foundation. This never wavered or changed, but it also meant that if something was off with either one of them, the other would notice it almost immediately upon sight.
“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t know, Lolita,” Savanah began. “I got sick of being kept away under lock and key and unable to do anything on my own. I’m tired of people dictating my life, so I decided to sneak out again last night,” she admitted.
Lolita nodded. “Well, it’s about damn time you decided to make some adult decisions. You know, if you keep on behaving like a baby, people are going to treat you like one and think they need to control and manipulate you into doing what they want. It’s only when you finally grow a pair and decide to take control over your own life that people are finally going to realize you’re not the child they think you are,” Lolita said firmly.
Savanah sighed. “Yeah, I know, but what’s worse is that I spent some time with Kyllian, and I haven’t admitted this to him yet, but we kissed, and then I just snapped,” Savanah said.
“What do you mean you snapped?” Lolita asked, concerned.
“I mean, I went into another of those weird ass spinning dancing spells where I hum and stare at the sky like a nut case for no apparent reason,” Savanah stated.
“All because he kissed you?” Lolita asked, perking her eyebrows in confusion.
“Well, I don’t know that it was because of him kissing me, but oddly he kissed me and then suddenly there I was making a jackass of myself on a public street,” Savanah murmured.
“Was it a good kiss?” Lolita asked curiously.
“Well, I mean, yeah, but the fact that I went into some weird trance mode kind of killed that moment,” Savanah explained with a frown.
“Yeah, I can imagine so,” Lolita sighed, “That is honestly really creepy,” Lolita said, her eyes widening as she spoke.
“Yeah, tell me about it. How do you think I felt? I’m the one who awoke in a random house and room I had never been in before. It was Kyllian’s father’s house,” Savanah stated, pausing for a moment as she looked at her friend. “His father is the mayor, Lolita,” she finished. Lolita’s eyes widened even more so at this revelation, clearly stunned by what she was hearing.
“Jeez, you really did have a hell of a night last night, didn’t you?” she half smiled with a pause. “You woke up in the mayor’s house? How in the hell did you get in without anyone seeing you?” she asked.
“To be honest, I’m not sure other than he must be really good at sneaking things in, but yeah.” Savanah replied, “There was some good news involved with it,” she finished.
“Yeah, what was that?” Lolita asked.
“After I had my episode, Kyllian was really worried about me, and he told me that he wants to help me. Well, he wants to help us, to figure out what is going on with these spells I’ve been having. He thinks his father may be having similar symptoms also,” she explained.
“Wow, that’s some development and conspiracy theory there,” Lolita said, clearly shocked to hear that someone else, particularly the mayor, may be experiencing what Savanah was.
“Problem with that is I’m not sure how the pirates are going to react to his offer for help or if my sister will trust him enough to let him in. You know how they worry about me,” Savanah stated. “So, what do you think?” she asked, looking back at Lolita as she gauged her response.
“Well, it sounds like an interesting and promising development. I mean, if anyone could possibly assist, it would be someone with his clout. Being the mayor’s son is a huge thing, and even if he can’t be trusted fully, he could still help you do some investigating and get to the bottom of what is going on. It’s not like you are obligated to do anything crazy. You don’t have to tell your right hand what your left hand is doing all the time, you know, Savanah,” Lolita said firmly. “What it really comes down to, Savanah, is determining whether you want to be yourself and have independence. I think you have a great opportunity to do that here,” she smiled slightly. “You don’t need anyone to decide what is best for you,” Lolita said, leaning forward and placing her hand on Savanah’s.
“Yeah, I know you are right, but I’m a little scared. I mean, the pirates and this life is all I have ever known, but I really like Kyllian. He makes me feel at ease in ways I have never felt before. I don’t want to endanger him in any way.” Savanah said. It was entirely true, also. Since she had met Kyllian, she felt like more doors had been opened even despite the condition her episodes had put her in. But she still had an internal conflict going on about how others would react to Kyllian. The last thing she wanted to do was put him in a dangerous position, especially after all the kindness he had shown her.
“Right, I understand.” Lolita said, sighing softly, “So, what is your plan then?” Lolita asked her, pressing her to continue talking. It was one of the components of their relationship. Lolita knew how to get Savanah talking even when others couldn’t.
“I’m not sure. I mean, I guess I’ll sneak out again to talk to him more, but I wanted to visit with you before I made any rash decisions. I’m not fully confident in my own mental skills lately, you know?” she said.
“That’s what I have been telling you that you need to change, girl,” Lolita said. “Stop waiting for a reason to excuse what you need to do. Just do what you feel compelled to do. You can figure this out, Savanah.” Lolita said.
“I know, you are right. It’s time for me to stop being such a baby and commit.” Savanah sighed and squeezed Lolita’s hand, turning to walk out the door, “Thanks for the great conversation and advice, Lolita. It seems like you are the only one who really cares or understands,” she smiled and waved.
Lolita grinned. “Yeah, that’s what I am here for,” she stated, watching Savanah walk out the door. “I sure hope she does what she needs to,” she murmured to herself as Savanah disappeared. “It’s the only way she will ever truly find herself.”
Savanah walked down the alleyway where she and Kyllian had just kissed the night before and sighed to herself. She did remember it. She remembered the silkiness of his lips against hers and the scent of him as his body rested against her own. She recalled how his kiss seemed to deflate her lungs of all the air in them. Everything about the kiss had been intoxicating, and up until the moment he pulled away, Savanah had thought everything was going great.
“I wonder if this is a result of feeling anything good?” she thought to herself as she continued to stroll along. There were a million possibilities, no answers, and yet the overwhelming truth was that everything was pointing Savanah in the direction that she most feared to go; opening herself up to the facts meant she had to make herself vulnerable in ways she wasn’t sure she could commit to, but there wasn’t much choice, and that was part of the reason she felt so uneasy.
Everything else had dictated the way her life would go. All Savanah wanted was to be the one to finally choose her own direction, without having someone pull her around by the nose according to what they thought was best for her. Would trusting Kyllian hold her back as much as everyone else had? Being honest with everyone about all that had happened with Kyllian offered the possibility of her losing contact with him altogether if others felt it was in her best interest, and that was one of her main fears. She didn’t want anyone to take away her opportunity to see Kyllian. He was the one and only person who was offering her the help she both needed and wanted while everyone else thought it best to keep her out of sight and out of mind and therefore ultimately out of trouble—or at least their hair.
“I’m not sure what to do with myself,” she murmured, turning down a corner to head back to her place. As much as she hated going back there, she knew it was the safest place for her to get some rest. Typically, Savanah wrestled with insomnia every time she laid down, but the thought of Kyllian and how kind and gentle he had been with her brought a sense of peace to her mind. She crossed back over the same threshold she had snuck out of and peered down the hall to ensure the coast was clear. Luck must have been on her side both times because there wasn’t a soul in sight and Savanah hurried down the corridor to slip back into her room. It was obvious to her that nobody had been in to check on her, as everything was exactly as she had left it. She walked through the small space and sat on her bed, glancing around the room with a sigh.
“Hm, I guess that shows how much they really give a crap about me,” she murmured, knowing full well someone would be in to check anytime, but the lack of consistency was part of why she wanted her independence. Who else could take care of Savanah how Savanah wanted to be cared for but herself? This was the one lesson that Lolita had consistently kept repeating to her and yet here Savanah was, laying atop her bed and wondering how to free herself yet again, but this time things were a little different. This time, the thought of a handsome and caring redhead inventor accompanied her as she lay there silently, the memory of his masculine scent and the way his lips quirked when he laughed brought a smile to Savanah’s face, and she focused on the memory of his voice as her eyes began to grow heavy, “It will all work out,” she murmured in the darkness. “Kyllian promised he would help me figure this out and somehow we will. I just know it, and nothing is going to stop me this time,” she whispered, as sleep claimed her in record time. It must have been the thought of Kyllian that lulled her to slumber so easily, because for the first time ever, Savanah was comfortably resting within a short ten minutes. Her dreams filled with the possibility of romance and the mystery of what was to come.
