The words were harsh, not just in tone but in the way that they ripped up from his chest, bolted up along his throat, and off of his tongue. He meant them. He would do everything he could to stay with her.
Lornia’s said, “I beg you, to let me go. When it begins, leave me.”
Blade interjected, “We cannot discuss this now. The ships are nearing. The bombs are locked on to us at this moment. We need help: Lornia’s. For God’s sake, Drake, deploy the weapon!”
Drake looked from Lornia’s face to Blade’s. His heart was heavy. This was what nobody ever mentioned about power. Its great and terrible weight. The awful responsibility of it. The terrible and unrelenting consequences of using it. His heart hurt. Everything in him hurt.
He nodded. “We go to the battlefield.”
Lornia reached for him. He resisted her touch, sure that if she laid a single finger upon him, his heart would not be able to bear it. That he would break and let the entire universe die in an attempt to save her from that fate, that fate of being trapped again in Tralam.
Her fingers stroked along his arm, and he took a deep breath. He reached back for her. His arms brought her to his chest and held her there. Her body was made for his. She was made for him. Everything about them fit, and he was about to use her in a way that he had agreed to long before he had ever seen her face, and that he now had no stomach for.
“The greater good.” Her face lifted. In her large golden eyes, he saw both sadness and rage. “There’s always a greater good to think of when it comes to life.”
Yes, there was, but it was so wrong and unfair that she was the one who had to sacrifice herself for it.
He nodded. “Yes. I know. I meant what I said. I am not letting go of you, Lornia. I won’t. If Tralam reforms and takes you into itself, I will spend my entire life searching for you, and I won’t stop until I do.”
Her lips met his, but the kiss was brief, and far too soft. That kiss tasted of goodbye.
Lornia moved out of the shelter of his arms. She said, “We have to go now.”
No. Not yet. The thought was strong, but he kept the words behind his lips. There was no more time. None at all.
Even as he spoke, he wondered if that was possible. If he could travel into that place when it began to form again. If he would ever be able to find her again.
He said, “It’s time.”
The words sounded like a death knell in his soul. They all turned and headed for the door of the room. The entire house buzzed with electricity and tension. Armed beings prepared themselves. On every face that turned toward them, Drake saw both hope and despair written large.
They all hoped that Lornia could do what she was supposed to do, but they had so little reason to believe that they would be saved by her that the hope on their faces was dim and fading fast.
Outside the building, the world smelled like death. The Federation had decided against ground warfare. This was to be their show of strength. They’d wipe out an entire system in one swift and lethal moment, proof that they might, was the one that all in the universe should fear.
It was a smart move, absolutely. The ships were firing smaller bombs at the moment, and they’d managed to fell most of the ships that had gotten off the ground before they ever had a chance. It was not a fair fight, and would never be a fair fight.
Talon said, “The bastards intend to destroy the whole system and then sail into another one. They won’t have to destroy many before the universe decides rebellion is not worth the cost. Millions upon millions will die today.”
Yes, they would. Unless he used the weapon.
The sky was dark; the heavens were blotted out by the hulls of the Federation ships. The ground was already scorched. The ships above were dropping bombs indiscriminately; destruction was everywhere. Lornia said, “They are hoping that fear alone will cause this system to kneel. That the mounting death toll will be enough to force submission.”
Talon said, “Every ship of the Federation’s fleet is here. They have brought even their trade ships into the fray, probably to supply the warships. They are going to kill this system even if it surrenders. They’re traitors that way.”
Drake’s eyes closed. His hands came up. His fingers wound into her hair and stroked down it. His voice was bleak as his eyes opened again and he stared at the reality that was power, the power he had coveted so much.
He spoke softly. “Systems, arm.”
Lornia’s face changed. The serene expression was replaced by one of sheer determination and courage, courage so real that it steadied him even as he wept inside for what he would do to her, had to do to her in the name of peace and survival of the universe. Her skin became porous and began to melt away to reveal the machinery below. A whirring, clicking noise ensued. Chips and wiring circuitry all began to beat and flash. She grew wider and taller, but her face remained unchanged, and he stared at it, torn by the need to save this universe and the billions of beings within it and the need to save her.
There was the real crux of power. The greater good balanced against what he wanted and needed: what he loved.
But inside him, the battle had already been lost. All of his defenses were crumbling. There was nothing left but his broken and shattered heart and the certain knowledge that this was the end of everything good about him. That he would never ever be able to recover even the slightest bit of goodness from within himself. Not even if he managed to stay with her. Especially if he couldn’t find a way to do so.
