That saddened her. She could not forget the crowd of faces staring up at the ship's windows, tears running down their faces and entreaties coming from their mouths. If they had known so many would die they could’ve packed more, and she was sure of it, despite everything that Marik or the others said to the contrary.
As they had traveled back toward home, they had heard nothing but more stories of war breaking out in more rebellions against the Federation. Things would be hard for all of them.
Talon had declared that the ships of the space-pirates who had agreed to haul the humans to the planet in exchange for a vast number of credits would have to be docked on the planet to unload the passengers but that they could only stay docked for a short time.
It was stupid to trust a pirate, he said, and Marik had said Talon should know, as should they all.
He also said, not even jokingly, that at least the war would occupy the space pirates and present a much bigger prize to them so they would not bother the planet much, if it all.
Jenny got off the ship. Others were waiting to welcome the refugees. The new arrivals were being greeted, and there were new huts that had been built, but more would be needed. As she stepped off the ship, she saw the fish hunters coming to shore, their catch towed along behind them. It looked like they had had good luck and she was glad. They had a lot of people to feed now.
She was too weary and heart sore to do much more. She trudged up the hill, waving but not speaking as she headed to her home.
She stepped inside to see that everything was just as she had left it. The shelves still held her little collection of things, and the glass jar that Marik had given her caught a stray beam of sunlight and refracted it back. Her breath caught.
Marik.
Did he care for her?
She did more than care for him. She loved him. She loved him so much, but that anger that had bloomed into being when the walls around the implant had broken stood between them. She had been so angry at him, and he had been so hurt even if he had understood why she has been angry at him.
That anger had kept her from going to him. She did not know what to say to him. She had no idea what to say, or how a simple and mere apology could suffice to heal that wound.
I can heal almost anything, but I can’t heal the breach between us, the breach I caused.
Tears fell down her face. She let them. The horror and the shock over what she had witnessed and lived through down there on the surface of Old Earth had not yet left her, and she crumpled to the bed, crying for the lives lost and for the ones who would still die down there.
Talon was right. They could no longer fight that battle. The best way to help that planet and its citizens was to fight the Federation directly. She and Marik might have to fight again. She might have to kill again, even though that thought horrified her to no end.
She was no warrior, but she would fight against those who would kill many more if they had a chance. She had to. She was a healer, and if she could, she would use that gift to save lives and to fight back against the horrors of war and death.
The sound of the door opening made her sit up. She blinked as Marik’s figure filled the doorway. Her hands went to her face, and she scrubbed at it. “What…”
He shifted from foot to foot. “I came to the door and knocked but you didn’t answer, and I heard…” He looked away. “I have better hearing than humans.”
She stood. Her hands clasped at her waist. Her mouth opened, and the words came from her mouth—and her heart. “I am so sorry. I never meant to say such terrible things to you and I…I wish I could take them back. I wish I could stop myself from saying them before I had. I wish I could turn back time and make it not happen but I can’t so all I can say is that I am sorry and that I wish I had not…had not done that.”
Marik crossed the distance between them. His lips moved up in a ghost of a smile. “Oh, I know you didn’t mean it. I…I was wrong for doing what I had done, but I had to. There was only one way to make you understand what you are. I don’t know, even, how a human could be a natural healer. I have never known any who were. Healers, yes, but not one like you.”
She licked her dry lips. “What am I?”
“You’re beautiful.”
The words fell into the space between them. Her heart throbbed and threatened to race so hard that she was afraid she would faint for a moment. She whispered, “So are you.” Her face heated. “I mean…I mean…”
He came closer still. His hand came up and rested on her cheek. He said, “Jenny, I…I know you have a broken heart. That the betrayal your ex…that you love him greatly…but I…I…”
Was that why they had really avoided each other? Because she loved him and because she was afraid she had ruined everything by being angry? Was he avoiding her because he thought she was in love with Ben and he had not wanted to speak up?
Surely he was about to say that he loved her!
She realized that if he were going to, she would have to say something first. She would have to be the one to have all the courage she was always so afraid that she would not have. She had to be brave if she was going to win this being she was so in love with.
“I love you.” The words came around the salty lump in her chest and throat. She did not bother trying to stem the tears. “I love you, and I knew that before I saw Ben again. I think he was able to catch me off guard that day because I was so guilt-stricken, knowing that I loved you and not him.
“I should have known that he had changed, but I didn’t because the truth is I never really knew him in the first place.” Her shoulders slumped. “I…I was always so afraid back there, before, and this time too. I thought he was strong because I didn’t know what it really meant, being strong I mean.
“I know now because I know you.”
