She studied him covertly. “I don’t know. I’m very scared but… but I have to go.”
She did. She had to find Ben if nothing else.
She continued, “I really thought about saying no to this but then I remembered something.”
He was walking very close to her, and his body brushed against hers. Another of those sharp little thrills that she had felt the day their fingers had touched while collecting the plants went racing across her skin, and she deliberately took a small step away from him. He didn’t seem to notice. He said, “What did you remember?”
She said, “I remember thinking, when I lived there, how unfair it was that so many people had so much and I had so little. I remembered thinking that if I ever somehow managed to get out of that I would help those who got left behind. I did get out, maybe not the way that I imagined, but I did. And I have to help them now.”
She looked over at him as she spoke the last few words. He stopped walking, and a look of sheer admiration came upon his handsome face. He said, “You are far less frail than people believe. Maybe even more thanyoubelieve.”
A short laugh came from her mouth. “I don’t think I’m frail. I just think I’m scared.”
Marik said, as they started walking again, “I’m a little frightened too.”
Her mouth fell open, and her eyes went wide. “You are?”
He chuckled. “Of course I am. I’ve seen way too much bloodshed and war in my lifetime. All I want now is to live in peace. I want nothing more than to tend to the everyday aches and pains and scrapes and accidents, even the everyday deaths that stalk us all. I don’t want to attend to the gruesome injuries that come from war and from weapons. I’m afraid that it will break my heart. I’m afraid that I will lose courage.”
Her hand came up unbidden and went to his arm. The thick ridges of muscle there nearly made her heart stop. Her mouth went dry, and she quickly dropped her hand away from him. “Thank you for saying that. Oddly enough, it makes me feel better.”
His laugh was warm and rich. That laughter called to her and made her feel like laughing too. Before she could stop herself, she was! She sputtered out, “Well, I mean, think of it. If someone as big and terrifying as you can be afraid, then certainly there’s no shame in my admitting that I am afraid as well!”
His body leaned into hers. That heat came flushing down her skin, making her face grow red and hectic. He asked, “You think I am big and terrifying?”
She cast him a sidelong glance. “Well yes.”
Marik said, “But I am the smallest of all my brothers! And I am probably the nicest too!”
She burst into more laughter, surprising herself. “I can admit that. All of your brothers terrify me.”
He said, “When I was little, they used to scare me too.”
They were approaching the ship now, but it was still just the two of them. For some reason, that small talk, that small admission of his, had made him seem far less stern and forbidding. She found herself not only enjoying the conversation, but able to continue her part of it. “Why?”
Marik said, “Because I was not like them. Talon already knew that he wanted to be a ship captain. Renall was so smart and prepared to take on the responsibility of rule after our father left this world, and Jeval, for all his smiles and easy banter, is lethal. Even more lethal than, Talon to be honest.”
“Is he? I had no idea. I always thought Talon was that… That…” She did not know how to put it without offending him, so she clamped her lips shut.
Marik gave her an amused glance. “The bloodthirsty one? Oh, he is, no doubt about it. But only where the Federation and the Borlites are concerned. His liking for blood stems from a need for revenge. I don’t blame him for that.”
The heat of his body was so close to hers that she could feel it and the warmth comforted her even further. She just didn’t dare lean into it. “But you don’t share his need for revenge.”
Marik said, “No. Not anymore. I did, but I’m a healer, and while I don’t mind killing those parasitic worms, the Borlites, because they are a menace and they suck the life out of everything that they find, I have a harder time justifying killing anyone and anything else. Even those who are with the Federation.”
She was curious now. “Jeval?”
Marik flinched a little. His jaw went tight. “He has gifts beyond any I have ever seen. He has powers that only come around every hundred generations or so and yet he chooses to squander them. And his thirst for blood is born not just out of a need for revenge but from a liking of war. I think…” He fell silent.
So did she. A few paces ahead were Talon’s crew, and they were readying the ship for takeoff. Jenny's stomach turned, and her chest tightened. She did want to go back. She wanted to find Ben and have her happily ever after with him. It was possible to have that now.
After all, the old systems had fallen away and now they could be together and not have to worry that one or the other of them would starve to death or have to be pawned, that they would have to pawn one or more of whatever children they might have just in order to eat and feed the others.
Oh, but how she would miss this planet!
