She studied his face. What she would not give to be able to say to him that she did trust him, that she trusted him completely. That she trusted him with her body, with her heart, and to be a good and just being who would help her write the injustices of the universe no matter what the cost.
She wanted to trust him in that way, but she knew him too well to do so. Talon wanted only what he wanted, and what he wanted was vengeance, pure and simple. He was only along on this mission because it would give him the opportunity to eradicate the race that he had such hatred for. When it came down to dealing with the Federation’s problems, he would walk away, and he would not even look back if she chose to stay.
That thought broke her heart. She wanted him to stay with her. She wanted to stay with him. Only how could she stay when she didn’t even know what he felt for her, if anything? It was highly possible that he felt nothing and that he’d only engaged in sex with her because he had been heated by battle and blood and in need of a physical release.
She spoke quietly. “I should like to think we trust each other, Talon.”
It was not exactly the answer to his question, and they both knew it. Talon looked away from her face. His jaw tightened. “I find myself in a highly unusual position, Jessica. I must trust you now. I am putting not just my life in your hands, but also the life of my crew. I am not asking for perfect loyalty and servitude from you, but I am telling you right now that if you betray me, that if you betray my crew, I will kill you myself.”
The words struck her directly in her heart, slicing through that organ like sharpened knives. He had every reason to say them of course; he really was entrusting himself and his entire crew to her.
“I would never betray you, Talon. You have no reason to believe me. I know that. We mean nothing to one another, really. You were gracious in allowing me to come along with you to help you isolate your enemies and attain some credits for myself.”
The bitterness in her words softened his expression, and she saw a quizzical look come up on his face. He leaned in, just slightly closer. His fingers, those long and slender marvels of bone and flesh, lifted and landed on her cheeks, tilting her head up and back so that she was forced to look him directly in the eye.
Talon said, “Do you really think you mean nothing to me?”
Her breath went short. She wanted, badly, to tell him exactly how she felt about him. That during all the long months of their journey together and battles shared in one together, all the meals had together, that she had gotten to know him.
He wasn’t always the best being, no. He was selfish and hard and hell-bent on his revenge and sometimes that blinded him to what was just and good and fair. He was stubborn; even if it meant losing something that mattered to him, he would not change his course once he had decided on it. She knew him, and she loved him.
Only she had no idea what he felt about her.
Tears threatened to come up in her eyes, and the fact that she was about to spill tears, something she had not done since she was a small child, shook her to her core. What was happening to her that he could weaken her with just a single touch? She could not afford to be weakened in such a manner.
“I do not care if you feel nothing for me, Talon.”
It was a lie. The biggest lie she had ever told someone she cared for. She cared very much whether or not he cared for her and how he cared for her.
His face registered nothing. His expression was so impassive, and what she wanted to see there was something that would tell her that she was important to him, and not just as a crew member or as a warrior, but as a woman.
His voice was cool. “We are docking.”
Jessica looked out to see that they were indeed docking. Her heart trembled within her chest. For better or worse, she was back on Old Earth.
