“Asshole,” I mouth to him behind Dad’s back, giving him both my middle fingers, instead of further embarrassing Dad by getting into an argument with his new best friend.
“Thanks again for your help, Autumn. Already looking forward to game night,” Forest says when we leave.
“Same here!” Dad shouts as we cross the street.
Letting Dad pull ahead of me, I twirl and shoot Forest both middle fingers again.
He acts as if I blew him kisses, pretends to snatch them out of the air, and presses them to his chest. His deep laugh follows me all the way home.
Chapter Six
Forest
This past week at work has been a hellish mixture of Autumn either laughing at me after some sarcastic comment or flat-out going silent on me. So be it. She may not be the best employee when it comes to her attitude, but she is when it comes to the clients she works with directly, going above and beyond for them, needing little supervision…though she continues to harass me about my supposed stench. Thank god it’s the weekend. I’ll be able to go toe to toe with her without risking my job.
Saturday evening, my daughter is buzzing with excitement to see Autumn again, much more than I am. And in all her excitement, Josephine leaves the front door open. She had charged outside hoping to catch a glimpse of Autumn, then darted back inside because she forgot her sketchpad and pencils, or so she tells me later.
I only catch the briefest blur of movement from around the corner of the hallway when Sebastian makes a break forfreedom, pumping his little legs out the door, down the walkway, and toward the street.
“Sebastian!” Fear seizes hold of my heart as I sprint after him, clutching Benjamin tightly. “Stop! Stop!” I lose about ten years off my life when a car whizzes by on the darkening street, a half second before Sebastian is about to step off the curb.
He falls backward, wailing with fright, and I drop to my knees, tugging him up and into my arms. That only makes him cry harder, fighting against my hold.
Autumn yells his name from out of nowhere, racing toward us from down the street. She screams shrilly when she narrowly dodges another car that has to hit its brakes with a squeal to avoid hitting her. There goes another ten years off my life.
Sebastian turns at the sound of her voice, reaching for her at the same time as she throws her canvas tote bag down and reaches to pull him into her embrace. I let him go, as much as it pains me, and Autumn rocks back to sit on her butt in the grass, shaking quite violently. They hold each other so tight, it’s as if they’re one being.
“What happened?” she asks, her own fright evident on her face as she cups the back of Sebastian’s head with his face tucked into her neck.
“He ran out the front door,” I say as I inch closer, the tiny pebbles embedded in the concrete walkway digging painfully into my knees through my jeans. I swallow past the hard lump in my throat as I rub Sebastian’s back, his cries growing softer.
Autumn drops her chin, kissing the top of Sebastian’s head several times. “You can’t do that, Sebby. You could have been hit by a car.” Sebastian is perhaps too young to understand, but maybe there will be a silver lining: if he were to run out again, he may avoid the street and keep to the sidewalk or grass. One can only hope. “You can’t run away from daddy. You have to stay with him so he can keep you safe.”
Autumn means well, but it triggers Sebastian, and he cries, “Daddy, Daddy, I want Daddy.” He’s not talking about me.
“I know, Sebby, I know,” Autumn says, her watery eyes meeting mine. Her attention drifts over my shoulder, and she reaches out once more.
I look up to find Josephine with her rainbow-patterned hard case of art supplies. She slowly lowers herself to the grass, and we sandwich her and the boys between us in a hug. I’m not sure how much she saw until she says with a trembling voice, “I’m sorry I left the door open.”
“It’s okay, honey,” I tell her, stroking her hair. “He wasn’t hurt. Just scared. But we’ll all be more careful to keep the door shut from now on.” I stand and help Josephine up, then hold out a hand to help Autumn next.
She instantly takes my hand, her fingers so delicate and soft, and it’s a kick to my stomach that she immediately scowls and snatches her hand back. She tugs the hem of her ruffly, bright blue sundress down and resituates Sebastian higher on her hip. He wraps his legs around her waist, his tears subsiding as he takes comfort in her. I wish I could as well.
“Will you tell your dad thanks for the invite, but we’ll have to skip game night?” I ask Autumn, already turning toward the house and pushing Josephine ahead of me.
“No, Daddy,” Josephine says, suddenly digging in her literal heels—a black patent pair with little bows and tiny kitten heels to go with her best dress. “I want to hang out with Autumn.” She hooks her hand over Autumn’s elbow, and it’s striking how much Autumn looks like she could be Josephine’s mother.
Taken aback by that stray thought, I tell Josephine, “Tonight’s not such a good idea. We could make some popcorn and watch a movie instead. Hang out with Autumn another night.”
“Please, please,” Josephine says.
Autumn says to me quietly, “There will be a bunch of kids their ages at my sister’s house. Might do them some good to play and have fun, after what happened.”
I pause to consider it, and Josephine looks up with unguarded hope, repeating, “Please?”
“You really don’t mind babysitting?” I ask Autumn with a slightly challenging tone.
Her mouth twitches, but then her shoulders drop. “No, I don’t mind.”
