They climb up the steps to the stage, then Damon Van Schwartz says something to Sadie away from the mic as her brother looks on. Felix brings two extra chairs on while Damon Van Schwartz says somethingelsewe can’t hear to Charlie Chamberlain. Honestly, it was kind of cute when it was Sadie, but this is justrude. There’s a bit of laughter and a few more words between them, then he lifts the mic and he’s all of ours again.
“Friends, I want you all to meet Charlie Chamberlain.”
Applause. Blah.
“You may not know this, but if it wasn’t for Charlie, my life would have ended abruptly earlier today.”
More applause. Eye roll.
“I want to say the biggest thank you to this hero, right here. I really thought the reaper was about to claim me, but you fought him off.”
“For goodness’ sake!” I say, possibly louder than I’d planned asa lotof people in front turn and look at me like I’ve broken a puppy’s neck with my bare hands.
“What now?” hisses Roxy.
“We don’t know he was actually about todie,”I say, doingangry air quotes.
“Are you calling Damon Van Schwartz aliar?” asks a woman in a fadedVampire FallsT-shirt in the row in front of me.
“No,” says Roxy, pulling me back into my seat. I didn’t even realise I was perched on the edge of it. “No, she’s not saying that. She’s just . . . excited.”
Damon Van Schwartz’s assistant appears with a couple of red lanyards (RED ONES, ffs) and puts them over their heads like they’ve just won gold at the Olympics, which they basically have because red lanyards are the best passes money can buy. I can’t imagine what the extra perks would be. I heard you can only get them on the dark web. The red lanyards that is, not the perks.
Roxy strokes my head in a fruitless attempt to settle me down; red lanyards are the ultimate dream, as well as meeting Megan Nicole Jefferies who plays Lila Murphy, most Fallers’ final cast member on their photo op bingo card.
“I’ve also arranged for a room upgrade, right here at the hotel, and we’re going to have dinner tomorrow.”
“Room upgrade?!” I blurt, this time loud enough that Charlie Chamberlain, Sadie and Damon Van Schwartz peer at me all the way from the stage.
I sink down into my seat in case the stewards try to remove me because I’m being so loud. Actually, not loud.Emotional. OK, fine. Loudandemotional, but a room upgradeanddinner? We all know what a great guy Damon Van Schwartz is, but this special treatment is wildly unnecessary, in my humble opinion.
“Can I hear it for Charlie and his sister Sadie, guys?”
The crowd cheers even louder, if possible, as Felix ushers them to their seats on the stage. Sadie beams at Amber Anderson who high-fives her as she sits down, while the rest of the guests lean forward to welcome them.
“You OK?” asks Roxy.
I gape at the stage, and then at Roxy.
“Am IOK? Do you evenknowme?”
“Fair. Just try and screw a lid on it before one of the stewards throws you out.”
“Pffft.”
Yes, I pffft-ed. My heart and soul pffft-ed for my little convention.
CHAPTER NINE
COX THE OBSERVER
Just look at the clouds clearing. Things are never as bad as they may seem.
BUD LEROY
Unless there’s an elemental witch in the next town over, getting all her clouds in a row ready for Armageddon. Just saying.
Vampire Falls. Season three, episode seventeen – “Signs of Life”.
