Beth was quiet for a moment, taking her time choosing her words before her question slid between them. “Was there a moment before you called Nell where you thought of me first?”
Sarah’s stomach dropped this time as she froze, eyes locked on the road ahead. “No,” she answered honestly.
“That’s what I thought.” Beth’s voice was unexpectedly calm, not quite what Sarah had anticipated. She didn’t sound upset or mad, only like she was trying to understand. “Why wasn’t I your first call?”
A great question—one Sarah wasn’t really sure she knew the answer to. But she could try her best. “You and I haven’t been partners like that in a long time,” she started, her voice quiet and raw, full of honesty. “I’m so used to being the one who deals with things without even thinking about it. It was more efficient to call Nell last night because she could help me immediately with the problem. I’m sorry I upset you. That’s never my intention.” Sarah reached towards Beth, taking her hand, threading their fingers together squeezing gently. “What do you need from me in moments like these moving forward?”
Beth sat in the seat next to her, chewing on her bottom lip. “I need to know I’m your first call—always, above everything. I’m your number one. Believe it or not, Sar, I’m reallyfuckinggood in a crisis… Can’t promise I won’t cry… But I can promise I’ll always help you tackle whatever problems life throws our way. But I need to know you feel like you can lean on me. We make the plans together. It’s you and me, okay?”
Sarah couldn’t help but grin. God, Beth had always been cute when she was feeling exceptionally passionate about a topic—the way her eyes darkened and a faint blush spread across her cheekbones. Her smile pulled tightly at the corners of her mouth as the heat of adoration for Beth spread through her. “Done. Yougot it.” She brought Beth’s hand to her mouth, gently kissing the tops of her knuckles.
“Great. Okay.” Beth glanced at her, smiling, mouth half open as if she had another question to ask before she closed it, reaching forward to turn the music back on. She slid her sunglasses down over her eyes as she nestled into the leather seat.
But they barely made it through two songs before Beth was reaching forward again, shoving her sunglasses to the top of her head as she turned to look at her. “Are you considering a job in D.C.?”
Of all the things Sarah had thought Beth might ask her, that had not been one of them. “How do you…” She trailed off, curious as to how Beth even knew about the conversation with Renee that Sarah had been avoiding for almost six months at this point.
Beth scrunched her face in a sheepish grin. “I didn’t mean to, but I kind of overheard you and Nell talking about it on Thanksgiving? Remember when I was taking a quiet break in your office… And I’ve wanted to ask you about it, but the timing has always felt a little weird, but…I guess I’m wondering if that’s going to be one of those hurdles life throws us that we’ll need to tackle together. You know, if you’re considering the job, that is.”
It was almost torture that Sarah couldn’t look at Beth right then; the need to keep her eyes on the road was integral to their survival. She needed to see the look on Beth’s face to confirm, because from the sounds of it, Beth didn’t seem completely put off by the idea of D.C.
The sound of the highway wooshing by filled the car as Sarah thought about her response. “I’m not sure,” she landed on. The tip of her tongue darted out, tracing her bottom lip. “It’s an intriguing offer, that’s for sure. Renee Fairchild, the senatorfrom Connecticut, wants me to serve as her interim chief of staff when her current chief of staff goes on parental leave this fall.”
Beth gave her a confused look, which Sarah caught out of the corner of her eye. “Politics? That’s a big change for you.”
Sarah laughed. “Yeah, hence the hesitation. Well, at least one of my reasons for hesitation…”
“What are the other reasons?” Beth asked, her hand coming to rest gently on Sarah’s thigh, the heat of her palm a reassuring presence.
“You.” Sarah’s voice was soft. “And Lily, and the nice quiet life we have here. D.C. would be a big change, and I’m not sure that’s what’s best at this stage of my life.”
“But do you want it?” Beth asked her again, and Sarah could feel her gaze pointed at her.
“As I said, it’s an intriguing offer.” Sarah flicked her blinker on as she guided the car onto the exit ramp.
Beth seemed to accept that as an answer because a moment later, she was turning the volume up, looking out the window as the ocean came into view between the gaps in the pine trees.
Again, they barely made it through another song before Beth was reaching forward.
Sarah was laughing as she said, “You know, you can ask all the questions you want. I’m really okay with it.”
“Sorry, you’re getting my real-time thought processing.” Beth grinned. “You want the job, don’t you.” The words that would typically have been a question landed as a statement that Sarah knew to be true.
As much as she had tried to ignore the offer—to put Renee off for as long as possible, to make continuous outrageous demands while negotiating what it would take to get her to leave StanCorp—Sarah couldn’t shake the excitement that filled her every time she thought about the career transition. But that excitement came with the fear of disappointing Beth, the memory of the lasttime they had found themselves in this position bubbling to the surface, when Sarah’s budding law career had (at least to Beth) begrudgingly brought them to Seattle.
“I do, but I don’t need it. I like what I’m doing for Nell at StanCorp, and right now that’s enough…”
“But it’s intriguing as hell, right?” Beth arched a brow, sliding her sunglasses down over her eyes again. “Keep talking to me about it, okay? Don’t write off the opportunity because you think I wouldn’t move to D.C. for you. I’m open to the possibility.”
Sarah pursed her lips, facial muscles working overtime to contain the excited smile that was currently fighting its way through.
“Okay then, we’ll keep talking about it.”
Sarah turned the wheel of the car, pulling into a steep driveway. At the top sat a small, pale yellow weathered bungalow overlooking the tops of pine trees to the ocean beyond. She threw the car in park before turning to face Beth.
“I’m proud of us. All this communication feels good, doesn’t it?” She grinned.
“You might be onto something…”
