“How so?” Nell echoed, confusion accompanying her words.
“In anI’m scaredkind of way? AnI’m sorrykind of way? AnI’m grovelingkind of way?”
Nell took a moment to consider her questions before responding with a simple, “All of the above.” Her voice dipped into that quiet softness again. “She needs to talk to someone who loves her right now, Sarah.”
God damn Nell and her ability to see every moment so clearly. Sarah nodded, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks along with a tight pulling sensation in her chest as she shifted, sitting up in bed. “Can you put her on?”
There was a rustling on Nell’s end of the phone as she moved through the downtown penthouse suite in search of Wren. “Renee called me again,” Nell said offhandedly. “You can’t keep putting her off forever.”
“Not now, Nell,” Sarah snapped. She could only handle so much in a twenty-four-hour time span.
“If not now, then when?” Nell sing-songed, followed by more shifting and her muffled voice saying, “Wren, Sarah’s on the phone.”
Wren’s voice was suddenly in her ear. “Sarah, um—hey. Thank you, you know—for, uh—wanting to talk to me.”
Wren was nervous. Sarah could hear it in her words. That pull tugged a little harder at her chest.
Wren’s voice cracked as her words tumbled out. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, and I’m sorry I put Lily in that position. I’m so mad at myself for not being able to just be normal.” She was half crying, half ranting as the words kept coming in one long jumbled string, only making Sarah’s heart break even more. “God, it was one dumb night. I was having such a good day. I know better than this. I’m not as stupid as everyone?—”
Sarah cut her off gently. “Wren, sweetie, slow down. Take a deep breath.” She paused while Wren hiccupped her way through a breath and then another. “I’m sorry this is happening,” she said, meaning every word. “And I’m sorry that you didn’t feel like you could come talk to me, or to anyone, before we got here.”
“I didn’t need to talk—it’s not that—I didn’t. “ Wren fumbled her way around the excuses she was reaching for.
“Wren. We’ve never lied to each other. Please let’s not start now,” Sarah said neutrally. She leaned on her maternal instinct, telling her that what Wren needed most right now was something a little tougher to help her accept.
“I don’t understand why rehab is my only option,” Wren finally said. “That feels, like, really intense. I was being a dumb kid. I was just having fun. I know so many people who have done so much worse.”
Sarah took a deep breath. She had prepared herself for this question the same way she had prepared her answer the nightbefore when Beth had asked the same one. “You aren’t just any kid making bad decisions. Like it or not, you are a public figure, and that means your life exists under an elevated lens of scrutiny that isn’t always fair. You’re an adult now, and there are real consequences to the decisions you make. Last night you made a bad decision, and I’m going to go out on a limb and say you’ve had nights like that before, too.”
There was a silence on the phone before Wren answered, her voice quietly resigned. “I don’t have a drinking problem.”
“No one is saying you do, but you did get arrested for disorderly conduct last night. That’s not something you can just turn your cheek to and pretend like it didn’t happen.” Sarah’s voice was stern. She needed Wren to understand the moment she was stepping into. “Which is why I was glad to hear you agreed to rehab.”
More quiet.
“Like I really had a choice?” Wren mumbled.
“You always have a choice, Wren. Not always around the options—but still a choice nonetheless. Clearly, you understood that enough to make the right choice.”
“I mean, yeah, I don’t want to lose my career. I’m not dumb. Soccer is the number one thing in my life that makes me want to wake up every day. I don’t even know who I am without it. And then obviously Lily. I know she’s mad at me. She hasn’t answered any of my text messages. Do you think she’ll ever talk to me again?”
“I can’t speak for Lily here, Wren. She’s upset, and that’s something the two of you need to figure out together. Did Nell and Nate explain to you what’s going to happen today?”
“Yeah. Uh, court is at one. Nell said my lawyer will be here soon to talk to me, and then, as soon as court is over, I’m getting on that plane to New York. Nate said the place is really nice. I think he went there. Tomorrow I’ll get all checked in and staythere for a month, I guess. I think I can have visitors after the first two weeks. Or something like that. Nate gave me a booklet that has all the details.”
Sarah listened as Wren spoke to her, but was momentarily distracted by the bedroom door opening, revealing Beth holding two cups. Sarah smiled, mouthing Wren’s name to Beth, who nodded, placing Sarah’s drink on the bedside table beside her before turning to leave the room, but Sarah reached out, grabbing her hand, tugging her back towards the bed.
She wanted Beth here with her.
“Sarah?” Wren’s voice was hopeful as Sarah rewound her brain to fill in the gaps of the part of the conversation she had missed when Beth had entered the room. “Do you think you’ll be able to come to court with me?”
She took another deep breath in. “No, sweetie, I won’t be able to come today. I need to take care of Lily.”
Wren’s hurt was audible even as she tried to play it off. “Oh—I—yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
“Nell and Nate will be there, and I would trust both of them with my life, which is why I wanted them there for you through all of this. We’re your family, Wren. We love you. You deserve to have people in your corner, even when you mess up or need help.” Sarah looked up, her eyes connecting with Beth’s impossibly blue ones as she continued. “Nothing you do is unredeemable.”
“Do you mean that?” Wren asked timidly. “Because right now it kind of feels like everyone is mad at me.”
