Beth watched Lily from the corner of her eye, picking up on the invisible ‘Do not Disturb’ sign Lily had put on the moment they left the precinct, but choosing to speak anyway.
“Lils,” she started, her voice barely louder than the rattling of the jostling train car. “Is everything okay with you and Wren?”
Lily didn’t even open her eyes. “I don’t wanna talk about it. Not tonight.”
“I know you’re tired, love, but… I hate that you feel like you couldn’t talk to your mom and me about whatever’s going on, especially with everything you’ve been through in the last few years.” She reached out with a tentative hand, taking Lily’s in hers. “I have to ask, though.” Beth swallowed hard past the lump in her throat. “Was what you said happened tonight—what you put down as your statement—the truth? Or did something else happen?”
Her question was quiet, but no less serious. She chewed on her bottom lip, waiting for Lily’s response.
Lily finally opened her eyes. “It was the truth.” Her voice was small and defeated, so far from the fiery confidence she usuallycarried. “The only thing Wren did wrong tonight was drink too much when I just wanted her to show up and have fun. She loves karaoke, but she makes these decisions and I have no idea where they come from, you know? Like shaving her head, and the last-minute trip to Mexico for Christmas. I don’t feel like I can follow her decision-making sometimes.”
Beth listened as Lily emptied her worries onto her, quietly running her thumb over the back of her hand in small, soothing circles as she continued.
“She’s had such an unfair start to life, you know, with her family being absolutely terrible. She tries to pretend like it doesn’t bother her, but I know it does. I just don’t want to see her do anything dumb.”
The mechanical voice sounded through the train car as they slowed to a stop, arriving at the U-District station. The two of them rose to their feet, exited the train, and made their way in the direction of Dylan’s apartment in silence. The rain had turned the pavement into a mirrored surface reflecting the array of neon lights glowing from the shop fronts lining the street.
They stopped outside the towering brick building, Lily pulling out her phone. “I’m good from here.” She went quiet, chewing on her bottom lip, as Beth pulled out her phone to call a car to take her back to the police precinct. “Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything.” Beth tilted her head, studying her daughter.
“What am I supposed to do about Wren? How do we move forward from here? I love her so, so, so much, but I—” Lily’s voice cracked as tears filled her eyes. “I don’t know what to do.”
Beth shoved her phone back into her pocket, the car she called on its way, and stepped closer to Lily, her heart aching at the sight of her child so clearly torn.
She took a shaky breath before answering. “Oh, Lils. I know that kind of love. It’s that big kind of love that feels like it’s woven into your DNA. It makes you feel alive, like you can do anything. It’s the best, most addictive feeling in the world. But it also lies to you. It tells you that if you try hard enough, if you reach out and catch them, that eventually they’ll find their footing even if it’s hurting you.” She looked up at the brick building, then back at her daughter, reaching out and taking Lily’s injured hand in hers. “Only you can decide how you move forward. Right now, Wren, whether she knows it yet or not, is in the middle of a storm, and she’s pulling you down with her. Moving forward doesn’t mean you stop loving her. But it does mean you have to decide if it’s time you stop being her safety net, because as long as you’re there catching her, she’s never going to realize how hard the ground actually is.”
Tears were falling freely from Lily’s eyes now, steady and silent as she listened. Beth wanted to be able to tell her exactly how to fix this, exactly how to make all of this better, but she knew better than anyone the heartbreak of loving someone so much that it physically hurt.
“Love is such an amazing thing, sweetie, but sometimes it’s the people we love the hardest who hurt us the most, and there comes a time when you need to decide to choose yourself so you can start moving forward. Love yourself enough to choose you and know that one day there may be a version of you and Wren where things work, where you’re both standing on your own two feet. Not the version of the two of you where you’re carrying her until it breaks you.”
Beth kissed Lily’s forehead as a car pulled up to the curb, waiting to take her back downtown. Lily wiped her eyes with her sleeve, looking away as she spoke. “Do you promise that choosing me won’t ruin what Wren and I have?
“There aren’t any guarantees, love, but what I can promise you is that you willneverregret choosing yourself. I know that better than anyone.”
Lily nodded, taking a deep, shaky breath. “Thanks for the advice, and for…everything. I’ll be home tomorrow evening, okay?”
They hugged one more time before Beth got into the backseat of the car, watching through the rain-streaked window as Lily slipped inside the lobby of Dylan’s building as the car pulled away.
Later that night, after Beth had met back up with Sarah and the others, after Wren had been released into Nell and Nate’s custody, and after a quiet drive home, Beth slid under the fluffy covers of Sarah’s king-sized bed. The subtle sound of water lapping at the rocky shore in the distance rhythmically kept time as she shifted against the cool sheets to roll onto her side and face Sarah. In the dim light filtering through sheer curtains, Sarah’s silhouette was taut, filled with the evening’s tension. Eyes open, fixed on a point on the ceiling…but she wasn’t saying anything.
A moment later, she rolled over, mirroring Beth as she scooted closer until they were inches apart, breath mingling in the quiet.
“I know that look,” Beth whispered, voice low and gravely from the long night as she draped a hand over Sarah’s waist, gently tracing her fingers up her side. “You’re thinking ten steps ahead right now, aren’t you? What’s the plan for Wren?”
A sigh escaped Sarah’s lips, stretched-out and weary and filled with a sadness that seemed to deflate her. In the nearlythirty years they had known each other, Beth had never seen Sarah deflated.
“How did you know I had a plan?”
“You’re Sarah Gallagher.” Beth leaned in, capturing Sarah’s lips with hers, kissing her softly. “You always have a plan.”
Sarah smiled weakly. “Nell was able to secure Wren a spot in a private rehab facility in the Hamptons that is discreet and used to dealing with professional athletes.”
Beth blinked, stunned. “The Hamptons? Sar, that’s…that’s on the other side of the country. You can’t—she can’t?—”
“It has to be,” Sarah said, that matter-of-fact tone slipping back into her words. “There is an extremely small window here to change the narrative in Wren’s favor, which Nell will explain to her tomorrow when she’s sobered up. Proactivity is key. It will be hard to keep the news of her arrest under wraps and by getting her into rehab, we can shape the language around what happened so she has a chance to return to play and build a career once all of this is behind her. That is, of course, if Wren agrees. She’s an adult. We can’t force her to do anything. But if she says yes, we can take care of this before it gets too big.” She took a deep breath in, eyes full of sadness.
“What about Lily?” Beth asked.
