PROLOGUE
JAMIE
APRIL
Jamie Lyons had a bad feeling. It had set up camp in her chest and hadn’t gone away in weeks. Most days, she barely noticed it. It was just there, like the low sound of a foghorn drifting across dark waters, warning others of nearby danger. When it first started, she tried to ignore it, breathing through it during her morning runs, avoiding thoughts about it during her Empwr Ventures meetings, and pretending it wasn’t there when Beth asked her what was wrong. But it was there. And it was persistent.
Unfortunately, she recognized the feeling immediately. It was one she had come to know extremely well: her intuition. Did she love admitting that she trusted it? No, because in the few situations it reared its head, like now, she could only hope it was wrong. But it was intuition that nudged her to call Dr. Albright’s office and move up her annual mammogram appointment, and it was why she was now, once again, in the awful cycle of waiting for answers, exactly where she had been three years ago.
She took a deep breath, sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat on the dock, looking out over the water and attempting somethingmeant to resemble meditation. Jamie exhaled all the negative, spiraling energy from her body—just like all the YouTube videos said—or at least attempted to, because it was Pancake Sunday and Pancake Sunday didn’t leave room for spiraling.
She stood, rolling up her yoga mat and tucking it under her arm before making her way back up the creaking wooden stairs towards the house. From the deck, she caught a glimpse of Beth through the sliding glass door and stopped for a moment to watch her. She was swaying, no doubt to music she liked to have playing in whatever room she was in. Knowing Beth, it was probably Fleetwood Mac. A few strands of hair had fallen from the long, loose braid down her back, and she had those little lines between her eyes that only appeared when she was focused.
Jamie slid the door open, only to hear the sounds of theRumorsalbum. She knew her girlfriend well. The soft thunk of the yoga mat hitting the bottom of the basket they kept by the back door drew Beth’s attention away from the counter where she had been slicing strawberries and bananas.
God, that smile. Jamie would never get tired of how Beth’s smile filled her, wrapping itself around her in a protective way. It was exactly what she needed right now.
“How did your meditation go?” Beth asked as she resumed slicing.
Jamie moved towards the counter, stepping behind Beth, slipping her arms around her waist. She stood on tiptoes so she could rest her chin on Beth’s shoulder. She shrugged, letting her body press gently against Beth’s back, melting into the comfort the physical closeness brought her.
“It went. I don’t think I’m doing it right.” Her lips sought the nape of Beth’s neck, kissing her gently before nuzzling against her.
“I’m proud of you for sticking with it.” Beth chuckled, setting the knife down and turning to face her with those impossibly blue eyes. Jamielovedthose eyes.
The validation warmed Jamie as she slipped her arms around Beth’s neck, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “I can’t get my brain to turn off, you know?”
She could hear her own frustration all over her words, but Beth didn’t shy away. “I know, love. Meditation is like a muscle. It takes practice. It’ll feel more natural the longer you stick with it.”
“I know,” Jamie grumbled, leaning in again to capture Beth’s lips with her own.
Kissing Beth was as natural to Jamie as breathing—like it was something she was designed to do. They’d been together for three years and it still sent that tingle of excitement racing through her. Her fingers slipped up under the hem of the old Stanford hoodie, the same one that was tattered and covered in paint splatters, clearly well-loved. Beth rewarded her with a sharp inhale as Jamie brushed her fingers against warm skin, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss.
“Ew, get a room, please.” A voice came from the other side of the counter and they broke apart to see Lily standing in front of them.
Beth laughed, reaching for a dish towel and tossing it at Lily. “One day, love, you’ll understand how rare it is to find someone you still want to make out with whenever you get the chance.”
Lily rolled her eyes and grinned. “You two are gross and you know it.”
Jamie took a moment to study Lily. She had clearly just woken up, still sleepy-eyed, barefoot in leggings and an old UW hoodie she had swiped from Jamie at some point over the last few years, the same way she had a hoodie from Beth and Sarah. But it was that same little smirk that always seemedto rest quietly on the corners of her mouth that continued to melt Jamie’s heart, reminding her of the sullen fourteen-year-old she had met four years before when she had started as Lily’s gymnastics coach. Now, at eighteen, Lily had three Olympic gold medals under her belt and a fiery confidence that was unparalleled. Jamie was so proud of her.
“Mom texted me and said she and Nell are on their way over now.” Lily picked at her nails as she spoke. Jamie recognized the habit instantly because it was the same tell Beth had for whenever she was nervous about something but trying to stay strong.
“Are you going to tell us what the big announcement is, kid? You did call this Pancake Sunday after all.”
Lily rolled her eyes at Jamie’s use of the nickname, but didn’t push back—it was their thing. “You’ll find out when everyone else finds out, hopefully soon. Did you talk to Amanda?”
“Yup, she and Kelly will probably be a few minutes late. I swear neither of them can tell time.”
“Sean and Dylan are coming over, too. Pat had to be at the shop today,” Beth added, stirring a large bowl of pancake batter.
“And Wren is at an away game, but I already told her and swore her to secrecy.” Lily swiped a strawberry, popping it into her mouth. “I’m going to go get ready,” she said breezily, making her way down the hall towards the basement stairs. “Mom just pulled in the driveway,” she added, her voice floating from the foyer.
“Chaos begins in three…two…one…” The doorbell rang out, the familiar low chime finding them in the kitchen.
“You love it,” Beth reminded her as she set the bowl of batter aside, pulling out the griddle.
“I’ll get the door.” Jamie kissed her softly on the cheek before heading towards the front door, where she could make out two figures through the frosted glass.
