We’d start with that and slowly move our way to happiness.
“I’m very organized in most situations.” That was something he was proud of and had him sitting straighter. “This is just not something I’m good at dealing with.”
That was probably the biggest understatement I’d ever heard.
“We’ll start with logical questions and goals based on what you know and where you’re at.” He was good with planning and being efficient, so we’d skip flirting and small talk. “The first thing I understand is that you need to explore what makes you happy over the next month. Is that correct?”
“Yes.” For whatever reason he actually seemed more relaxed with the conversation. “I haven’t wasted time, so I have a full twenty-nine days left. I wish it were more but I spent one day trying to plan this out on my own. It wasn’t helpful.”
Telling him how adorable he was would’ve been the wrong way to handle the situation, so I nodded. “It’s a reasonable start,but we’ll keep going so you don’t lose any more time. Are you sure that you want to explore happiness through BDSM and did you make any decisions yesterday that you think I need to know for us to start?”
I was pretty sure his blinking and simply staring at me was because I’d asked good questions but waiting patiently to figure that out wasn’t easy. After a few moments, he nodded slowly and his processing seemed to go faster. “It was politely worded but the will makes it clear I’m supposed to find happiness through some sort of sexual means or romantic relationship.”
He had weird relatives.
“I decided to explore happiness through male-on-male contact because it wasn’t off-putting and my time dating women was not enjoyable.” His glare came back. “In any way.”
Male-on-male?
How did he see himself?
He didn’t even seem to be labeling himself bi-curious.
I didn’t need completely gay but I’d never even considered dating someone straight.
“I find them confusing too, so no judgment here.” The fact that I wasn’t sexually attracted to them went into that, but pointing that out wouldn’t help me connect with him. “Do you have a frame of reference for what male-on-male contact looks like?”
Porn?
Dirty books?
I knew I wasn’t going to get any of those answers when he perked up and sat straighter again. “I had neighbors last year who were a very nice gay couple. They were polite and wonderful neighbors, but it wasn’t until they moved that I realized they might’ve been into BDSM as well.”
Okay, well at least they’d been good examples of gayness?
“What makes you think that?” I was prepared for anything from reasonable to odd and made sure to keep my expression neutral.
“A few of their packages were delivered to me in error.” His hands came up and his frown came back. “I didn’t open any, but the names of the companies stood out.”
Ah.
“A quick Google search made it clear they sold interesting toys and novelties, but I didn’t make the connections or think about using that information as a form of research until after they moved out.” He seemed disappointed about that, but his shrug said he knew there wasn’t anything he could do about it.
“I think you’ve found a good starting point.” I wasn’t sure if he was somewhere on the ace spectrum or if another label would fit better, but sticking with the fact-based information gathering seemed like the best way to continue. “One thing you need to think about is if you could either find a man sexually attractive or romantically attractive in some way.”
He shifted back to blinking and frowning, so I knew I had to try again. “Just feeling neutral about being touched by a man isn’t going to help in the happiness search.”
He didn’t seem to have as much of a negative reaction to the idea of being with a guy, but I wasn’t sure where his feelings on women had come from.
“Ah. That’s a good point.” The way his head cocked told me he was thinking about what I said, but it wasn’t a quick process. “Desire has to be part of the equation in some way.”
He had the most interesting responses.
“Yes.” It really did in this case. “Do you think you could react physically to me under the right circumstances or do you think you’d be drawn to someone with different characteristics? Younger. More emotive. Older. A different body type. There arealso endless personality quirks that people can be attracted to as well.”
The way his face tightened said he didn’t like the question. He was thinking about bratting out again. I could see him considering it but one raised eyebrow had him pulling it back and trying to find a good answer. “I find your calm demeanor to be a positive characteristic and I think I like how broad you are.”
I had to fight not to smile when he waved a hand in my direction. “We’re very different physically but I don’t mind that. I might like how opposite we are?”
