“Oh, baby. You’re already beating yourself up because you think we’ve been unfair to Eddie, don’t you?” He gave a single miserable jerk of his head. “Oh, you sweet man. Let me grabsomething to clean us up, and we’ll talk about this. I won’t be a moment.” I dampened a flannel under the hot water tap and grabbed a towel.
James lay like a tin soldier, but he allow me to wipe him down, so I counted it as a partial win. I threw the soggy items to the carpet and climbed back onto the bed, this time tucking myself under the duvet so I aligned with James.
“Would a hug help?”
He shrugged, then moved into my space and turned his face against my shoulder. “I hate my brain,” he said into the muscle. “Fucking stupid, useless lump of pulp.”
“I’m quite fond of your brain,” I said lightly. “It’s delightfully kinky.”
His ‘humph’ was gruff, but I sensed him coming down a little from the plateau of self-flagellation he’d been perched on. I pushed on with encouraging him to step back down to the ground. “You know, we didn’t do anything wrong. We kissed, a lot. And then we wanked. With mutual directions. Which isn’t exactly ground-breaking territory. Eddie and I have done a lot more than that before now. You know that too.”
His sigh could have powered an industrial fan. Eventually, he lifted his head to meet my eyes.
“You’re right. I know you’re right. I can’t seem to get that into my skull though. Eddie would probably be pleased we’ve been—” He wiggled his fingers. “—whatever we were doing. Getting off? Yeah, that. So why don’t I think so?”
“He’d be thrilled,” I agreed. “But regardless of what Eddie will think,youneed to believe it.” I kissed him, as sweetly as I could. “What do you want to do now?”
He stretched, yawned, and burrowed back under the covers. “Nap. Orgasm got me good.”
“Then sleep, sweetheart. I won’t be far.” I kissed his forehead this time, all I could see, and got up. James was asleep beforeI got as far as the door. I stood and watched him for a while simply because I could. I was so proud of him. He’d shown a huge degree of trust in me by voicing his desires so openly and trusting me to fulfil them, all without having Edwin around to act as his safety buffer. Apparently, I had now been promoted to safety buffer status too. That warmed my soul like nothing else. Jamestrustedme. By the Goddess, I loved him so much. Our gorgeous, battered-but-not-down Yorkshire rose.
Smiling to myself like the sap I undoubtedly was, I gathered up the dirty clothes for the laundry and went to take a shower.
46
JAMES
Who-what-the-where—Oh,I’m fine.
My eyes flew open as an already fading dream propelled me roughly from sleep. My heart was fluttering like a caged bird, but I didn’t have an urge to hide under the bed or flee Trace’s home to seek sanctuary with Edwin. Because, I realised as I took a few steadying inhales, buildings aside, Trace was as much my home as Edwin was.
It was such a Big Thought, I needed a cuppa to deal with it. I sniffed at my pits. Eww, not very fragrant. Although, sod it. Tea first. I pulled on my jeans commando, noting absently as I zipped them that I rather liked the roughness of the denim against my balls, and tottered to the kitchen.
Terrance regarded me from the windowsill. “You know everything now,” he intoned solemnly.
I dropped a teabag into a mug. “Guess I do.”
“He is working in the garden unglamoured.” It sounded like a challenge.
“And?” I still found the familiar unnerving, but if he started to bitch about Trace being his true self, I was selling him out to anyone who’d listen.
“You were aware?”
Of course, Terrance hadn’t been in on our conversation this morning. I gave him as sunny a smile as I was capable of. “I don’t want him to be someone he isn’t. Not unless it’s for his safety. It was unfair of me to suggest otherwise.”
“Hmm.”
I decided I was hungry. I began mixing up eggs to make a quick lunch, assuming if the crow had anything more to add, I’d soon hear it.
“You are an unusual human. Adaptable.”
I scoffed as I threw salt, garlic, and black pepper into the mixture. “Most humans are. Except, I’m not entirely human. Part Fae, remember? Maybe even half.” Perhaps that was why I gelled with Trace. Although that didn’t explain why Edwin had. Who knew? Perhaps it was nothing more than chance and luck.
Terrance flew over to the counter. “Your views on most humans are entirely too naïve, but that’s not a conversation for today. Will those be scrambled?” He sounded hopeful as he fixed his gaze on the yellow mixture I was beating a little too fiercely.
I eyed him. “They could be.”
“I like scrambled eggs.”
