42
TRACE
The expressionsthat crossed Edwin’s face were comical. Eventually, he spluttered, “That was not what I was expecting. At all.” He shook his head. “I presume Evergreen is the nearest translation from the Fae?”
“It is,” I confirmed. And because sometimes I could be a bit of a dick and his attitude was needling me, I added, “It surprised me when the Council suggested using it, but I have to confess it was flattering.”
“I bet it was.” A snort in the back of his throat told me he hadn’t finished. “So just how long was your affair with my sire then? ‘Two guys passing some time’. That’s what you said, wasn’t it?”
I mentally choked him for being so insensitive in front of James, who’d perked up like a squirrel when Edwin spoke, but I kept my tone light as I said, “Do you ever think without your cock being involved? Dalziel does live in an ancient pile surrounded by pine forests. He might, do you not think, have seen the coincidence of my surname as a sign? Or perhaps he wasn’t quite arrogant enough to call a new multi-species venture the Millar Council.”
Edwin wasn’t a dumb blond. He evidently picked up theshut the fuck upundercurrent in my lighthearted retort. “I guess Evergreen Council sounds better too,” he conceded. “And yes, Dalziel’s arrogant, but not about stuff like that. He generally prefers to keep a low profile.”
“There you are then.” I ran my fingers through my hair, muting a curse as it didn’t ripple but instead snarled on a knot. “Give me a moment,” I muttered, summoning a magical tweak to my previous human appearance. “That’s better.” Now I had the same greying locks Edwin and James were used to, but they lay tame and gnarl-free around my shoulders. “We really should go to bed.”
James went readily this time; evidently he was as tired as he looked. But, when we were all clad only in underwear and squeezed into my bed, he refused to close his eyes.
“Are you uncomfortable?” I asked him. He was in the middle and a bit squished, because even Isher hadn’t been able to magically stretch the walls of my new home and only a standard double fitted – just.
“No, I’m quite cosy here.” He was on his side, facing me, tucked against Edwin’s front. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep until I know something though.” His eyes were ringed with dark shadows, so I knew he was fighting exhaustion and therefore whatever it was had to be important.
“What is it you want to know?” I yawned as I spoke, the events of the evening catching up with me, especially coming on top of a hard day’s graft.
James looked at me, then at the ceiling. I watched his Adam’s apple bob before he ventured, “I can’t stop thinking about you being punished for something. And like, fuck, that’s a really harsh punishment…”
“You want to know what I did?”
His gaze returned to me. “Aye. Is it bad of me to ask?”
No, but I hope you won’t decide I’m not worthy of your love after all.
“I’d want to know if our positions were reversed,” I assured him. “Eddie?”
He smirked. “We’ve already established I’m a nosy bugger. Of course I want to know.” His grin faded. “I’ve done some shit I’m not overly proud of over the years. I don’t think whatever it is will make me think too badly of you. Spit it out before lover boy here starts snoring.”
James huffed, but I noted his hand clenched Edwin’s thigh and his breathing became shallow and fast.
I shuffled so I could lie flat and avoid eye contact with them as I said, “It wasn’t long after the war. The ’14 - ’18 one.” I felt Edwin stiffen; oh, Goddess, he might really not like this. “We’ve already established I was pretty and pampered.”
“Go on.” Edwin’s tone was unreadable.
“I’d stayed well out of combat zones. I’d been forbidden to get involved anyway, but the Fae don’t as a rule like being forbidden to do anything and I was no exception. So I’d come through the Glimmer?—”
“Whatisthat?”
I’d forgotten James wouldn’t know. “The Fae lands. In our language, our world is known as The Glimmering of the Vales. That’s not even a very good translation, but to be honest, there isn’t a better one. The meaning doesn’t translate. We also call the portals we use to access either world the Glimmer.”
“Oh, okay. So you’d been coming through from the Fae world, but more than you were supposed to?”
“That’s right. I was fascinated. The soldiers, the changes to daily life, the news articles, the propaganda, the leaps in medical knowledge. I would glide around unnoticed under a glamour of fog or smoke and, for want of a better expression, poke my nose in.” I pinched the bridge of said nose. “Insufferable arrogance onmy part to think I could use the suffering of thousands as a live history project, but I did.”
“Hardly something I’d consider worthy of the kind of punishment you got saddled with,” Edwin said, his tone now definitely cautious. I felt mortification engulf me. This man beside me had been part of that horror; the carnage, the cannon fire, the sheer misery of existing on the battlefields of France and Belgium.
“That wasn’t what got me cursed and exiled. It was after the war. Remember, I was as shallow as a puddle. Vain as anything and used to being lauded for my looks.” I huffed. “Goddess knows, I had precious little else to recommend me. Plants don’t care about looks or personality as long as they get tended.”
I rolled towards the wall and covered my face with my hands. Then immediately rolled back again so James could hear. “The wounded were everywhere. Some of them were literally shells of the men they’d been previously.” A lump formed in my throat. “I tried to avoid them, because they weren’t aesthetically pleasing. I didn’t want them ruining the mirror I held up to myself with their broken expressions and shabby, ill-fitting suits.”
“Ouch,” Edwin murmured.
