It didn’t help that I knew as soon as I sank my fangs into one of his veins, he’d be rock hard within seconds and giving me sex eyes. Whatever the myths about our kind, if you’re not amenable, even subconsciously, to bumping uglies with the vampire feeding from you, you’ll get no more than a pleasant buzz from the encounter. James’ body was all in, but his mind wasn’t ready. If I in any way coerced him, I’d not be able to cope with the guilt — or Dalziel’s disappointment.
Thiswas why I did one-night stands, or hook-ups as everyone called them now. Picking up blokes in pubs and gay bars was my default; just enough booze to loosen the human’s inhibitions a little and the promise of a quickie, and I could have my pick of men. Without trying to be a dickhead about it, I know I’m good looking. It didn’t hurt to have an added dash of whatever the magic sprinkles gave us to make up for an eternity of walking in the shadows.
So, when I’d been totally up front about my intentions to continue with this lifestyle, why did I feel guilty even thinking about ditching James and heading out to pull? He was an adult,even though his baby face suggested otherwise, and he’d been living on his wits for several years. A few hours or even a night alone shouldn’t faze him, but I hesitated. I hated bagged blood with every fibre of my being. Having recently spent time with my sire out in the arse-end of nowhere, I’d had more of the stuff than I wanted to see for the next decade. Also, I didn’t want James to think I needed to feed from him every day. Ideally it suited me to do just that, but he wasn’t ready for that level of commitment, and anyway, I wanted to build him up physically. Making him weak by feeding too often when he’d been half drained by Cormack was something else I would avoid at all costs.
All in all, it wouldn’t hurt me to miss a night out. Maybe, if James fell asleep, I’d slip out for a quick half hour. I wasn’t physically the strongest vamp around, still needing a minimum five hours during the day of deep sleep, but I had my own strengths, namely thrall, and the helpful ability to spread a feeling of calm with very little effort on my part. The two gifts combined made feeding off passersby a doddle.
I shoved all these thoughts aside to be in the moment. The film was amusing; some car chase nonsense that was entertaining enough without having to follow the dialogue too closely, but it made James smile a lot, which in turn made me happy. I sidled slowly closer to him and eventually slid my arm along the back of the sofa, letting it rest across his shoulders. He shot me a quick glance that said he knew what I was doing, but as he immediately leaned into me, I declared it a win. I wasn’t even particularly horny, but I felt some strange compulsion to keep him close, protect him. Most unlike me.
I could feel sunrise approaching when he started to yawn, but he didn’t move from his position tucked into my side. The film finished and I shut off the television with a click that reverberated in the still of pre-dawn.
“We should head to bed. Do you want to share with me today? I’m warning you, I will probably want you to feed me if you do.”You just told yourself you could miss a night, you prick.I let my question and the statement sink in while the silence stretched. James went taut in my arms, his pulse accelerating. He smelled nervous as hell, but aroused. After a long moment, he cleared his throat.
“With you? I don’t mind if you bite me,” andoh God, did his heart clatter as he said that, “but I’m not sure about anything more.” A beat. “Is that a problem for you?”
“Absolutely not,” I assured him, giving his thigh a reassuring squeeze. “Do you need the bathroom at all? I’ll tidy up in here.” There was one mug to wash and the couch cushions to straighten, but I figured he might need a moment alone.
He nodded gratefully and shot out of the room. I rinsed the mug and double-checked I had locked all the doors. Then, I went back to the lounge and found a notepad.
Hey, James. Just a reminder not to open any curtains or blinds until sunset. If I’m fast asleep and you wish to head out, here is a set of keys. Please lock the door behind you. Make sure you take your phone in case I wake and want to check on you. Here is my number. Please add yours here:
Edwin
I added my mobile number, then tucked the note into a clean mug next to the saucepan. If his previous flatmate Ahmed was correct, and from the little I knew of James, he seemed to be, he wouldn’t venture far until he’d doused his innards with a helping of the ubiquitous British staple.
In my bedroom, I undressed down to my boxers, then regarded my thin quilt. Of course, it made no difference to my overall well-being if I slept naked in a snowdrift, but I preferred the softness of feathers. James as a human required warmth. Ipulled a woollen blanket from a storage box and laid it across the bottom of the bed. I saw the corridor light go off, then James appeared in the doorway.
“Come in and close the door, love,” I urged him. When he edged closer, I asked if he’d mind tucking his silver chain under his hoodie. I don’t scare easily, but an accidental burn would be nasty. “Keep your clothes on, because I don’t want you getting a chill.”It will make it easier not to touch you the way I’d really like to.I threw the coverlet back and beckoned for him to join me.
He lay on his back, tense and a little wary, but not overly scared. Good. I didn’t want a fang hag — vampire slang for those humans who know about us but only want to get bitten as some messed-up rite of passage into their weirdo cults. Being a shadow was a big commitment. Although I hadn’t pushed him in any way, I needed to give James an out if he decided it really wasn’t for him. Weirdly though, I got the impression the blood part didn’t bother him at all. He was more concerned about his sexual response to me. That I did understand, especially after his recent trauma. Frankly, I wondered if James was emotionally capable of handling big decisions when he was evidently still this badly shaken.
Perhaps I worried too much. After a minute or so of quiet breathing, he turned his head to meet my gaze.
“Are you gonna bite me or stare at me all day, Edwin?”
“Sassy brat.” I grinned and tugged him against me. “I like looking at you. Is that a crime?” It was incredibly satisfying that he’d taken some of my blood and his obvious injuries had healed. I had to hope his invisible wounds would knit together too.
“Don’t know why you want to look at me. I’m not much of anything.” He gave me a knowing look. “I’m not stupid. I’m likea bad photocopy of Sorley.” His chest hitched. “In black and white.”
Oh no, that would not do at all. I’d heard him tell Sorley and Gethin he wasn’t ugly — he certainly wasn’t — but maybe that had been a desperate need to reassure himself he’d not been stupid to get taken in by Cormack’s initial flattery.
Trying to look stern, I glowered at him. “Not funny. You’re your own person. Yes, you do look quite a lot like Sorley, but you’re no imitation of anyone, let alone a lesser version.” He opened his mouth to protest but I cut him off. “Do I need to wash your mouth out with soap?” His eyes widened comically and he shook his head. “Right then. Besides, I grew up with black and white photography, thank you very much, and I never had any complaints. I don’t want to hear another word.” I waited until he finally gave me a hesitant nod.
Had it only been two days ago I’d personally declared James a pale imitation of my dear friend? How quickly opinions could change. I wouldn’t swap him for the world now. Perhaps James was a little on the plainer side — I knew myself well enough to suspect my objectivity was rapidly waning — but he was mine and he looked fucking perfect to my jaded eyes. It’s also bloody hard for any human to glow in the same way as a vampire, so he had no business being down on himself. I’d have to keep reminding him.
Dialling back my intenseness, I brushed his shaggy hair off his forehead, tucking it into the hood he seemed to be addicted to keeping up, and pressed my lips to his heated skin. “Will you let me feed from you, James?” I held very still.
A blush swept across his cheeks, but he nodded. “I’d like that.”
I pushed up one of his sleeves and heard his pulse quicken. I needed to make this fast so I didn’t act like a horny fool. I traced my forefinger over the inside of his wrist, then repeatedthe action with my tongue. James whimpered softly, but when I hesitated, he pushed his wrist against my mouth.
I bit down, quick and clean. His blood flowed hotly into my mouth as I closed my lips around the holes I’d made and sucked. Fuck, he tasted even better than the first time. I could smell his arousal as I drank, his flushed skin and his rapidly lengthening cock unable to hide the truth from me. I carefully pushed my hips away from him; there was no way I would dare complicate matters by grinding against his thigh.
I was reluctant to stop, but it wasn’t as if I needed to take a lot of blood. I did and still do, however, need to feed regularly. When I licked the bite closed, James sighed. His eyes were closed and a quick glance downward showed me he was fully hard in his joggers. Forcing my gaze back to his face, I touched his cheek gently.
“You okay?”
“Hmm.” He inhaled a shuddery breath, then said, “I should go. You’ve finished, haven’t you?” His expression was toneless, almost robotic, but it was fairly obvious he was feeling anything but steady.
