“I guess?” I hedged, although in truth I’d never given it much consideration. “Maybe you’re not his type, babe. Which is totally his loss.”
“Anyway,” she said briskly, confirming I’d poked a sore spot, “expect Dalziel sooner rather than later. He’s on a mission to help young James.”
“He’s…Oh.That’s why he’s come?” I realised I’d snapped to attention knowing my sire was in town without questioning thewhy.
“Eddie, he loves you, but you ain’t that special. Of course he’s come to see James. I told you I had someone in mind, didn’t I?”
“Yes, you did.” It was my turn to sigh. “This is one of those ‘Edwin doesn’t need to know’ situations, isn’t it?”
“Not my story to tell, bruv, but yes.” At least she sounded regretful I wasn’t in on the secret. “He’s got some deeply-buried shit, Ed. Don’t take it personally if he don’t blurt it out to everyone.”
I murmured a denial that I was in any way bothered, then said goodbye and went to find the others.
Trace rested lean arms on his spade and eyed me thoughtfully as I relayed what Baxter had told me, including that Dalziel appeared to be the provider of the therapy we’d requested.
He indicated a dozing James in the garden recliner I’d had delivered. “Do you think it’ll help?”
I raised my palms skywards. “Don’t have a clue. But we have to try something. He’s totally shut down.” My sigh felt like it had been dredged up from my toes. “I feel so fucking guilty we had that threesome.”
“Don’t,” he snapped. I stared at him wide eyed. He shook his head, then shoved thumb and index finger into his eyeballs and rubbed hard. He raised his head and his expression was contrite. “I should not have said that. Or not in that way. Let me start again. You shouldn’t feel guilty for participating in something with a grown man who encouraged you every step of the way. Remember, Eddie, I was there too. James wanted it. Hereallywanted it. Which now I think might have been a last-ditch attempt by his brain to convince him he wasn’t in need of help. The fact it didn’t work isn’t your fault, or mine, or his.” He held out a hand. I took it, and he dragged me to him until there was no space between us. “We can’t afford to fight. We need to be here for James. Besides,” he gave a surprised huff as if he had shocked himself with his thoughts, “I can’t bear to see you hurt. The fact I might be responsible for that pains me.”
I cupped his face with my free hand. “Overreaction much, love? We snap when we’re worried or stuff is out of our control. I get it.” To show him he was forgiven, I kissed him, slowly and thoroughly. I finally released him with a last smacker on the end of his crooked nose. “Let’s tell James Dalziel is on his way.”
It took a while before I thought James had even heard. His brow furrowed, and he stared across to the yew arch Isher had made. “Can he fix me?”
Oh, sweetheart.I yearned to say yes, but I knew better than to promise him anything. I chanced a hand on his knee from my position in a crouch next to the recliner. “We don’t know that for sure, but he wouldn’t have come all this way if he didn’t have something pertinent to say. Will you listen to him?”
It took forever before James nodded. “Okay.” It had to be enough for now. I was terrified we’d push him to the point he’d stop communicating altogether. I moved my fingers to gently rest on top of his hand where it lay on his thigh. “He’s on his way over. Do you want to meet him inside or out here?”
Dalziel arrived not long after sundown proper. Trace had showered and grabbed some dinner. I’d persuaded James to consume a bowl of soup and some toast. His appetite wasn’t terrible if you could coax him to start eating. Dalziel hugged me briefly, extended a hand and a warm smile to Trace, then came into the lounge. James was in the armchair, legs tucked underneath him, head resting on an oversized cushion I’d bought him several weeks ago. His gaze was vacant, but sharpened as Dalziel approached.
Dalziel sat on one of the upright chairs, deliberately not crowding James. He rummaged in a small rectangular bag he’d brought with him and produced a flask. He held it out with a smile.
“This is from Pavel. He’s perfected the cocktail recipe Isher gave him, to Isher’s exacting standards. He thought you might like some.” He set it on the small side table near James. “It travelled in a cool bag so it should taste perfectly fresh.”
James glanced up at me. I gave him an encouraging nod. He leaned forwards, took the flask, and unscrewed the lid. The scent leapt out, a mixture of the sweet shops from my childhood and something flowery, possibly blueberries, although never having eaten a blueberry, I couldn’t be sure. A slight crunch drew my attention to Trace, whose fists were suddenly clenched. Was hejealousJames had been given a gift? Surely not.
James wetted his lips. He didn’t quite manage to meet Dalziel’s gaze as he mumbled, “Thank you. You’re very kind.”
Dalziel’s disbelieving snort was softened by his facial expression as he retorted, “Not something many folk say, but Iwas happy to bring it along.” He tilted his head, studying James for a long moment. “You’ve had a rough time of it, haven’t you, Mr Wilson? Even Edwin and now Trace haven’t managed to help you banish the shadows of your recent past. Something I have no doubt they’ve tried very hard to do, but which might be beyond them. This leads me to suspect you might do better to talk things over with someone who isn’t involved in your relationship, but who is keenly invested in a good outcome for all. Does that sound agreeable to you?”
James swallowed. He fidgeted with the cushion and the flask, his fingers tapping out a nervous rhythm. The silence in the room stretched until I felt tempted to head outside and light up a cigarette just for something to do.
Eventually, James nodded, a swift up-down. “I guess so,” he whispered. “But you’ll make me talk about him, won’t you?” The anguish in his eyes made me once again want to resurrect that fucker Cormack so I could spend the next decade or two torturing him before I staked him for a second time. Trace moved next to me and laid his hands on my shoulders.Calm, Eddie.I could hear the words as if he’d spoken them aloud.
“Thank you,” I mouthed. His palms tightened.I’ve got you.
Dalziel shifted forwards in his seat, his expression earnest. “Aye, I will,” he confirmed. “Because I think we can all agree this is the single most horrific thing that’s ever happened to you. Correct?” James’ throat clicked loudly. He nodded. “Then, if we can demolish the monstrosity of a mountain his treatment of you currently has buried you under, perhaps you can begin to tunnel free.” His lips twitched. “I’m not very good at metaphors, but I hope it suffices.”
“I understand.” A few seconds passed when all I could hear was James’ ragged breaths. “Do you really think it will work?”
“I believe it’s somewhere to start. I’m no therapist, but I do have some pertinent information about how to chop themountain into more manageable chunks, so to speak.” Dalziel still seemed relaxed on the surface, but I could tell by the minute narrowing of his eyes that he was deeply uncomfortable. What the fuck did he know about this kind of thing and why—Oh my God!Baxter had intimated that Dalziel had some dark happenings in his past. Were they connected to some kind of physical abuse? Worse abuse than that even? Had he been through the same sort of torment as James? My ribs felt like a band tightening around my chest, squeezing the air I didn’t need from my lungs. It would explain his insistence that consent be not only affirmed, but affirmed vigorously.
I mentally shook my head. No, I was imagining scenarios that had never existed. He was simply a bloke who moved with the times. It wasn’t like forcing your attentions on someone had ever been a good idea, even if women especially had had a hard fight to make their voices heard and their wishes abided by. Dalziel was simply a good bloke who’d seen some sketchy shit in his time and had a ton of experience helping folks get through it. I was often prone to take the most dramatic road when it came to people I cared about.
“So, when d’you want to get started? I’m sure if it’s helpful, Trace won’t mind if I decamp to his for a bit to give you both some space.” Presumptuous of me, but it wasn’t like I thought Trace would refuse.
Dalziel arched one dark eyebrow in that infuriating way he had. “We’re not doing it here, Eddie. James needs to expunge his negative emotions in a neutral space. This is his home.”
