I knew roughly how old Edwin was. “Pre World War One vegetarian humans? People must have thought you were cranks. Wasn’t it hard to get enough of the right nutrients?”
“Not really. There were even vegetarian restaurants in London in the late nineteenth century, although people tend to forget about that. Mum was good at making meals from almost nothing. We were poor, but I never went hungry.” He huffed,looking surprised. “I don’t often remember much about my human life in such detail.”
James cut a knob of butter off a block and dropped it into a frying pan. He gave Edwin a look I could only interpret as besotted. “You should be pleased. That’s a good memory.” We watched as the butter melted, then James dropped the beaten egg mixture into the pan. “I need to keep an eye on this. Edwin, will you lay the table please, and Trace, could you take the bread and butter and a knife through? Bread’s in the cupboard up there.” His tongue poked from between his lips, his brow furrowed with concentration.
Edwin lifted up a leaf from a narrow dark wood table and anchored it underneath with a pull-out strut. “James is new to cooking,” he said, warmth and pride in his voice. “I’m encouraging him to experiment, but it’s a bit one-sided as I can’t offer to taste anything.” His sad smile was tinged with hope. “Can you maybe be enthusiastic about it, even if it’s not brilliant?”
“I’m not lying to make him feel better,” I said quickly. “But I doubt it will be bad. He seasoned it well.”
“Fair enough.” He exhaled heavily through his nose. “He’d probably know if you did lie.” A weighted pause. “I just want him to be happy. He went through some awful shit at the hands of that monster. Most of the time I can’t believe he agreed to move south with me, let alone that he lets me feed from him. I’m a vampire, for heaven’s sake, the same species who repeatedly hurt him and…” His eyes were anguished as he whispered, “repeatedly raped him. How do I help him move past that?”
It was pure instinct to open my arms to him. Edwin walked into my embrace and laid his head on my shoulder. “I think,” I said cautiously, “you continue to show him all the ways he can trust you. I’m not sure there’s any more youcando. He’s safe here, he’s evidently not here under any sort of duress— Hey,don’t react that way, it’s always a possibility when you know vamps use thrall, and you’re especially good at it.” I waited until he relaxed again, then continued. “Let him come to you, I guess, is what I’m saying.”
“Yeah.” He sighed, then extricated himself and rubbed his chin, a gesture I felt was left over from his human time. “Sorry about the needy hug thing. I’m, uh?—”
“Hugs are free, man. You’re also allowed to be needy. Don’t pull the macho stiff upper lip bullshit with me, please.” I was the one to hold eye contact this time, until he gave me the briefest of nods, then moved around me. I let out a relieved breath he hadn’t come close enough to feel the chub I’d sprouted as soon as he touched me. Reacting like an eager cockhound when he needed comfort was bang out of order.
“James has finished cooking.” I raised an eyebrow at Edwin’s certainty. “The frying pan sounds different when the omelette is ready,” he explained.
I smirked and whirled around to follow. “You vampires got to be useful for something, right.”
12
JAMES
Trace and I ate,with Edwin watching. He toyed with a mug of tea I was sure he didn’t really want, but he was very sociable and had told me the other day he wanted to appear more human so he could accompany me to places if I so wished. I wasn’t entirely sure what he meant, although he had mentioned the seaside, which sounded good in theory. I certainly had no pressing desire to visit a nightclub any time soon — not after what happened the last time. A pub might be nice though. I lost myself in a daydream about the two of us huddled together in an olde world tavern, with cramped seating which meant I had no option but to feel the press of his thigh against mine. A snapshot of Trace’s lean length plastered against my other side tried to muscle in, but I quickly shut it down to concentrate on my Edwin fantasy. The details got blurry after that, but I was content in my bubble while the other two talked about people I didn’t know.
I started at the feel of Edwin’s hand on my thigh. “James, you okay?”
“Fine. I was…” My face heated as I recalled the direction of my thoughts. He still hadn’t removed his hand. “I was just thinking about the amount of work ahead for Trace, makingthe other carriage into a home.” Although both guys gave me dubious stares, they didn’t challenge me on my answer.
“It will be an effort, but we’ll help in any way we can. Would you be willing to be awake more in daylight for a while, James, if Trace needs you? I can do heavy lifting and digging, but I know very little about plants, and obviously I’m limited to the hours between sunset and sunrise.”
My breath caught in my throat at his suggestion. Logically I knew I would be safe with Trace. For God’s sake, the Evergreen Council vouched for this bloke. I knew what had happened to the FWNN — eliminated for what he did to me. These people didn’t play by human rules, so I truly doubted Trace could be any kind of a threat as he obviously knew any consequences for bad behaviour would be severe. I was also used to taking myself off and wandering the streets while Edwin slept. That didn’t bother me, so why should working in close quarterson Edwin’s landgive me pause? I could feel my pulse hammering as I struggled to keep my eyes raised. Jeez, Trace’s gaze reminded me of his crow’s; penetrating, wise, and too fucking knowing. It was as if he could read my thoughts. I wasn’t comfortable with that possibility.
Yeah, that was the problem all right. I liked the witch.Likedliked him. Or I thought I might. Which was all kinds of wrong. For starters, he was older than me, by how much I didn’t know, but it sure as heck wasn’t the titchy four years’ gap between me and Edwin, even if Edwin did have a century’s experience of being twenty-seven. Trace had eyes that had seen some shit and he’d probably suffered as a result. The fact he was a vegetarian and grew plants and made herbal remedies and potions was pretty much the only reason I hadn’t run screaming from him. Otherwise my overactive imagination could quite easily have recast him in a dark fairytale setting, with flowing clothing and a sword or a bow and arrow, while he ventured forth on somequest that involved a lot of slaying of his enemies. I think it was the hair.
“Do you wear leather boots?” I blurted suddenly.
Both men widened their eyes. Trace, thankfully, didn’t laugh at me. “No, I don’t. I don’t wear anything made from the body of anything on Earth. Nor do I eat it, with the exception of dairy, eggs and honey. But you knew that part. What’s bothering you, James?”
I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t even drum up an acceptable lie.I think I might fancy the arse off you when we’ve only just met, oh, and by the way, I’m a fucked-up, trauma-addled virginwasn’t the way to pull a cool older bloke, even if I wasn’t mortified enough that my mind had even gone there. Add to that my confusion over how I already knew I felt about Edwin —You can’t, it’s much too soon —and I was a hot mess. Incredibly hot, if the fire in my cheeks was anything to go by.
Just when the silence had stretched to a point where I was tempted to bolt, Edwin cleared his throat. He crooked his finger at me. I went, immediately bathed in cool relief as he pulled me down onto his lap. Fuck me, I was a needy, clingy heap of patheticness, but plastered against him was my new favourite place in the universe. I could only pray he didn’t get bored of me too quickly.He said he’s keeping you forever.
He pressed one of those kisses I’d come to crave to my forehead and said, as calmly as if he was discussing the weather, “I think James and I are suffering from the same affliction, except he’s way too polite to say anything.”
Oh my God, what thefuckdid he think I was thinking? My heart gave a leap like a startled deer. Edwin encircled my chest with his arms and tightened his grip, soothing and grounding me. I focused my entire attention on my hearing as he continued in the same matter of fact tone, “You see, we both think you’re hot stuff, Trace. And while the old me would have propositionedyou for a tumble without giving it a second thought, I’ve got my beautiful boy here and I don’t ever want to hurt his feelings. It gets complicated because I’m almost certain I’m picking up arousal from him too. He looks at you like he can’t work out whether he wants to jump your bones or leg it down the street.”
I think I moaned.Oh no! He went there. He really went there.I would have to leave London and run away to the seaside, preferably to Antarctica where the cold would finally sear the blush from my face and my only possible critics would be penguins. I couldn’t ever lift my head up again. I was done. I screwed my eyes up and balled my hands into fists to prevent me clawing at Edwin’s shirt.
But then, I felt movement by our chair. A hand, warmer than Edwin’s, landed cautiously on my knee. “Don’t be embarrassed, James. You’re lovely. I’m so flattered, I can barely put it into words.” A soft laugh. “Either one of you are enough to have given me a workout hiding my arousal this evening. Both of you together…well. There’s a reason I’ve been keeping busy.” Another gentle chuckle, this one sounding way too musical to have come from the grungy-looking string bean at my feet. “I’m hardly a catch, and yet it would appear miracles do happen.”
He stood up. “I’m going to search for Terrance again while you two talk. Just so you’re aware, I’m pansexual and polyamorous, and open to any and all offers that involve consent all round. I’m not one of those guys that think a relationship with three people in it has to be a perfect triangle.”
I listened to the gentle clump of his boots as he headed down the steps and onto the gravel, then deflated like a popped balloon.
“Just going to go and die under the bed now,” I mumbled. Antarctica was too far and it was dark outside.
